Let’s Get Weird: June 16

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It’s Friday, you don’t have shit to do, and alcohol is readily available in the United States of America, so let’s get weird.

Looks like I’m floating the river tomorrow in San Marcos. It’s been a minute since I’ve done that. I’m a little hesitant to go because it’s such a time commitment. You can’t just bail two hours in and paddle to the shore and walk home. It’s shuttle buses and coolers of beer and this whole lengthy process. We’re talking eight hours. I’m going to have to get annihilated.

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What are we getting into this weekend?

Holy shit someone actually did it (@mpowers91)

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  1. smithpm

    Tubing in Texas is tricky. You think, “Great, I can just drop in and pee whenever I want” and then you see the water moccasins slithering across and 10 snapping turtles on every branch. Yikes.

    8 years ago at 3:43 pm
  2. BobMotherFuckingBarker

    Jordan is 6-0 in the finals, and missed two years in the Middle of his prime. Lebron is 3-5, and lost to dirk nowitzski and nobody else in 2011 with prime wade and bosh. How can you make the case that lebron passed mj?

    8 years ago at 3:49 pm
    1. Edgar_Allen_Bro24

      I think it’s impossible to make a case. The NBA was so much different in Jordan’s days. What does better even mean? They’re both excellent and to call one a GOAT over the other is wrought with inconsistencies.

      8 years ago at 3:59 pm
    2. Cartier

      I’m concerned this topic hasn’t been discussed enough and that the topic may not lead to a definitive answer

      8 years ago at 4:11 pm
    3. SirCarlosIII

      Jordan also beat Barkley, Malone, Stockton, Drexler, Magic and Bird. LeBron is playing in a historically soft East and has done so in the last 8 years with historically good teammates. Lebron is clearly top 5 (at least) but what Jordan did, and what he means for the sport will never be matched.

      8 years ago at 4:13 pm
    4. Siblings of Mark Wahlberg

      How about Jordan losing 11 times in the playoffs….prior to the Finals?

      8 years ago at 7:04 pm
    5. SirFratPrick

      I think you can’t conclude Michael Jordan is the GOAT solely because he went 6 for 6 in nba finals. That is because basketball is a team sport and therefore Jordan didn’t do all the work. That would be valid for an individual sport like tennis or boxing. Also under that logic whatever teammates (idk if there are any though) that went 6 for 6 with him are also better than Lebron.

      8 years ago at 7:44 pm
    6. CanadianB4C0N

      Not just Dirk. Jason Kidd in his prime, Jason Terry in his prime, Vince Carter, Tyson Chandler in his prime, and JJ Barea actually playing well.

      8 years ago at 7:45 pm
  3. Edgar_Allen_Bro24

    One of my female friends has a weird guy sliding into her DMs on Instagram. The funny part is, this guy got married literally one fucking week ago. Should we snapshot this and send it to his wife? Anyone have any ideas? Seems kinda fucked up.

    8 years ago at 3:57 pm
    1. DrGonzoTFM

      Go for it. His wife deserves to know what kind of guy she married. Maybe have your friend see how far she can take it with the guy (short of anything physical, of course) just for the laughs before sending the screenshots.

      8 years ago at 4:06 pm
    2. ThinkThereforeFRAT

      Wait til you have something definitively damning and try to not use entrapment. Let it be led all by him.

      8 years ago at 4:28 pm
    3. Edgar_Allen_Bro24

      If it matters, his wife is a solid 8-9 blonde Texas girl. Opening message was a compliment about her tits and “have you ever been with a real Texas man before”

      8 years ago at 4:38 pm
      1. DrGonzoTFM

        If she leaves him after you send the screenshots you should take her to pound town to really rub salt in to the wound.

        8 years ago at 4:47 pm
    4. CanadianB4C0N

      String him along so you get something nice out of it first. If you’re gonna be a piece of shit like that you deserve it.

      8 years ago at 7:42 pm
    5. Fratty Couples PGA

      Wow. This dude’s only chance now is if he’s somehow talked his wife into an open relationship.

      8 years ago at 6:56 pm
  4. Broties n Boatshoes

    So is this TFM golf outing gonna happen? Happy to take the reins and plan it if people are committed to playing and we can make it successful.

    8 years ago at 4:04 pm
      1. Fratty Couples PGA

        At least two of us were emailing Dillon about it, but he just stopped responding.

        8 years ago at 6:43 am
  5. _easy_mac_

    Going to firefly as my first festival. How expensive is beer/ should I bring a case and leave to drink then come back? What are the do’s and don’ts?

    8 years ago at 4:05 pm
    1. DrGonzoTFM

      As someone who has been to a number of festivals I can tell you to wear sunscreen and reapply throughout the day. You’ll be glad you did. Anyone who calls you a pussy for it can fuck off.

      8 years ago at 4:08 pm
      1. DrGonzoTFM

        Also be careful about your drinks and be wary about taking drinks from other people. There are assholes out there who will dose you with acid and not tell you. Never happened to me but I’ve heard a lot of stories so be careful about that unless you’re in to that sort of thing.

        8 years ago at 4:30 pm
      2. Edgar_Allen_Bro24

        This happened to a friend of mine, but I make a habit to not take drinks from anyone ever.

        8 years ago at 4:45 pm
      3. Ronnie Swanson

        I went to Bonnaroo 2 years ago. Saw a dude on a bad trip strip naked, climb a tree, jump off to bust into a port-a-potty, and then run around aimlessly beating his sick until being tackled by security. Fucking love music festivals.

        8 years ago at 6:26 pm
    2. Karl Karlson

      Keep the booze light. Wine, light beer, or liquor cut with water. Enjoy the show and stay hydrated. Otherwise you’ll wake up in a med tent and have wasted copious amounts of money.

      8 years ago at 4:18 pm
  6. SharkWeekTFM

    Any ideas for shark week content?
    Themes for a shark love story 2?
    Lists, whatever.
    Karl I got your suggestion, good looking out. 😉

    8 years ago at 4:23 pm
    1. Fratty McFratFrat

      A male shark and a female tuna fall in love. They become ensnared in a net in the icy North Atlantic. As the net is being drawn from the water, a small hole appears, only large enough for one fish. The tuna says “I’ll never let you go.” The shark says “Later, bitch” and swims through the hole to safety.

      8 years ago at 5:28 pm
      1. CanadianB4C0N

        Well that’s just a waste of a perfectly good tuna if you’re the shark.

        8 years ago at 9:29 pm
    2. Karl Karlson

      Break down Shark Week must sees. Probably better for PGP but get that content out brotha. That chain mail shit last year made me lose my mind. Sharks are rad. Content is rad.

      8 years ago at 5:49 pm
    3. violation321

      Hey, so can someone explain to me the whole Roger Dorn and Dillon Cheverere thing? Which is his real name and how’d he get the other one?

      8 years ago at 6:24 pm
      1. SharkWeekTFM

        Dillon C is his real name. R Dorn is a character from Major League. It’s just the name he chose. Couldn’t tell you why tho.

        8 years ago at 6:36 pm
      2. Fratty McFratFrat

        Back in the day, all of the writers used pseudonyms. Dillon was Roger Dorn (the third baseman in Major League), Rob was Bacon, Harrison was The Boulevard, Dan was Jack Hammer, Jared was The DeVry Guy, and Boosh was Boosh. A few years ago the staff started using their real names and left the fake names to the freelancers. The nicknames Dorn, Bacon, Bosch, and DeVry stuck. But Jack Hammer and Boulevard faded from the collective memory.

        8 years ago at 7:59 am
    4. GreenJon9

      I found a great site that focuses on stay at home mom’s complete guide to gaining a serious amount of money in very little time. While being able to earn an passive income staying home with your kids. If you are someone who needs more money and has some spare time, this site is perfect for you. Take a look at…
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      Trump”s New Opprunuties See Here

      8 years ago at 3:27 am
  7. Science Oven

    This summer I am working a roughneck job in an oilfield and I’m going to make a bunch of money that I won’t need for school. I want to invest the extra money into some kind of mutual fund, or something but, I have no experience with stocks or stuff. Any help would be nice!

    8 years ago at 4:33 pm
    1. FratinaHat

      – If you want a decent set it and forget option try wealthfront they manage a portfolio for free up to 15k

      – I would go more for REITs. The dividends are better and less volatile. Fundrise is a good starting place here.

      – People laugh at Bitcoin but there are several millionaires now that it’s taken off. Could be worth getting in or with a similar crypto coin. I’ve made several hundred so far.

      – If you want a lot of perks and good dividends use Nextseed. You invest straight into new businesses. I invested in a new brewery in Austin and got invited to the launch party it was sick. Still receiving returns on it.

      – Would for sure buy a few ounces of silver every month. Trust Me

      – Depending on how much you make, buying a small house/condo to rent out is a fantastic option. This would really only work if you made enough to buy in cash if you won’t have a stable job to get a bank loan.

      8 years ago at 4:47 pm
      1. TheeRockySulli

        This is the beauty of TFM. A bunch of young 18-20 somethings commenting on random Instagram sluts and bashing each other like we’re all in middle school, then turning around and helping each other out with useful advice on real world topics.

        I personally have gotten the best return on investment in flipping real estate (one house but more to come) and investing in small businesses.

        Anyone else (on the west coast) looking for good paying jobs this summer, look into logging, equipment operating, or being a fire fighting contractor. Lots of money to be made, and you’ll learn the value of hard work.

        8 years ago at 5:32 pm
      2. chillonstfm

        Speaking of bitcoin I found this little ETF called ARKW that has some sort of bitcoin in the fund. I decided to buy like 10 shares about 6 months ago at $25 a piece. It finished the week at $35. Bitcoin is the future

        8 years ago at 9:10 am
    2. InternationalFratStudent

      Buy a place in your college town and just rent it out to college students until the day you die.

      8 years ago at 12:37 am
    3. CantDriveDixieDown

      buy a bunch of coke and make your new pledge class push it for you

      8 years ago at 5:11 pm
    4. Fratty Couples PGA

      You can make an easy 10% just buying shares of something like the S&P Index Fund, but I don’t recommend it. If you want value appreciation, there are hedge funds better than that, or you can put it in real estate. If, on the other hand, you want income, which I think is the better option, you can buy any of many dividend-yielding stocks or you can put the money in real estate. For dividends, the key is to buy the stock at a price of less than fifteen times its earnings. So research its earnings per share, multiply that number by 15, and only buy if the share price is less than your result. For real estate, you can buy a small rental property using a bank loan for leverage as long as you have good credit. Collect the rents, pay the mortgage, and the bottom is your profit. I hear trailer parks are dirt cheap and high-yield (also high risk though because well it’s obvious).

      8 years ago at 7:04 pm
      1. TheOldMan

        Anyone who says “you can make an easy 10% just buying something like the S&P index fund” was not around in 2008.

        8 years ago at 7:30 pm
      2. Fratty Couples PGA

        You must have missed not only the last ten years but also the part where I said that I do not recommend it. You can all eat shit.

        8 years ago at 6:42 am
      3. Fratty Couples PGA

        “I didn’t like the first ten words of a sentence, so I’m going to skip the rest of the paragraph” attitude. Drink bleach.

        8 years ago at 6:45 am
    1. CanadianB4C0N

      Some of the more specific things will depend on the school but essentially just keep it simple. There’s a group of people you’ve been spending all your best times with for the past 4 years and there’s a chance you may never see some of them again. And the ones you do still meet up with won’t be able to do so as often or as easily. So my advice to you is the following: if there’s anything you’ve wanted to do with your group of people but haven’t had the chance to do it now.

      8 years ago at 9:41 pm
      1. Fratty McFratFrat

        Damn, Blowjob. You, Pax_Prentiss, and BuschLattesFTW (aka The Mentally Challenged Three) are veritable Lap Magnets. And, no, I do not have 30 accounts. If we could harness your abilities of Lap Generation perhaps we could solve the world’s energy problems.

        8 years ago at 7:48 pm
      2. Fratty McFratFrat

        Now watch: Blowjob will reply and either give me a smiley face or call me a Retard. He’s a bit bipolar in that respect.

        8 years ago at 7:50 pm
      3. BuschLattesFTW

        If we would try as hard on the world energy problem as you do to jerk off to your upvotes, we would solve it even faster

        8 years ago at 5:59 pm
      4. Fratty McFratFrat

        If I had known that I would end up owning the souls of you, BuschLattesFTW, and Pax_Prentiss, I would have negotiated a group rate.

        8 years ago at 9:55 pm
      5. Blowjob420

        wow 3 downvotes already? Dang fratty, you’re quite fast at switching accounts, unless you have multiple tabs open. Sad!

        8 years ago at 10:01 pm
  8. CanadianB4C0N

    Sit in the gunner position in an Abrams tank with live ammo, ride shotgun in an F/A 18 Super hornet, or blow up a training target with a tomahawk missile fired from a Navy destroyer. If you could do any one of those which would it be?

    8 years ago at 1:01 am