Hero Shows Up To Jury Duty With Beer In Hand

El Taco8 years ago

Yesterday we brought you the heart-warming tale of a Florida man stuffing Cookie Monster with cocaine. Today, we travel west to a little place called Tyler, Texas for an equally endearing story. Ya see, a man from said Tyler, Texas wasn’t feeling the whole jury duty deal and showed up completely wasted to the courthouse Wednesday morning. Oh yeah, and he also had a beer hidden in a gas station cup in hand. Impressive, really.

Tyler Morning Telegraph:

When the man attempted to come back inside the courthouse, deputies stopped him. Once he was stopped, he turned the Coca-Cola cup over to the deputies.

After identifying the man, the deputies asked him what was in the cup, according to the affidavit. The deputy reported a strong smell of alcohol coming from the cup and found what appeared to be beer. The man confirmed that, the affidavit states.

The man was arrested and charged for public intoxication and booked into the Smith County Jail where he was held on a $260 bond, according to Smith County judicial records.

Beer in a Coca-Cola cup? That’s just goddamn genius right there. Almost as good as wine in a can. Not quite but almost.

You’ve got to be pretty damn uninterested in being selected for jury duty if you’re willing to walk into the belly of the beast drunk and sipping beer from a styrofoam cup. Those courthouses are crawling with officers. To walk in drunk and beer in hand you’ve got to have balls. Big brass knockers. Unfortunately for him, those extra large huevos will put him on the wrong side of the jury bench. That’s what happens though when you play with fire.

I’ve never had jury duty but people seem to hate it with an absolute passion. Honestly, how bad can it be? Getting a free lunch to sit there and judge people, having their lives at your fingertips? Sign me tf up. Apparently this Texas man felt differently.

The man had prior alcohol-related arrests so this one doesn’t come as a huge surprise. Still, if you’re looking to get out of a jury duty, this is a pretty full-proof way to do it. Only problem is you’ll be working your way out of jail in return. But hey, you’ve gotta spend money to make money, ya know?.

[via Tyler Morning Telegraph]

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