2017 College Football Week 5 Recap: A Pirate’s Life
Dan Regester7 years ago

If you’re the joyless bastard that loves betting favorites, this was the week you cashed in. With the exception of a somewhat predictable upset in Pullman, Week 5 of the college football season was chock-full of blue blood programs laying biblical beatdowns on both their inferior competition and my wallet. Nothing brings you back to reality from a worry-free, tropical vacation quite like looking at your bank account after a humbling 2-6 weekend where you’re firing out live bullets fading your original picks just to limit the damage and make October’s rent. The American dollar just doesn’t go as far in 3rd world nations as I originally anticipated.

5 major takeaways from the weekend

Alabama-Clemson round 3 is happening. Just accept it.
Kirby Smart is building Georgia into Alabama Light: serviceable QB, stable of running backs, vaunted defense.
Baton Rouge is envious of Butch Jones’ buyout.
Washington State finishing 5 of their last 7 on the road is going to be brutal.
Ironically, a Big 12 championship this year might just keep the conference out of the playoffs.

Frivilous Heisman Power 5

Saquon Barkley
Baker Mayfield
Bryce Love
Rashaad Penny
Mason Rudolph

This week in existential crisis

Butch is here. He brought donuts.#SECNation 🍩 pic.twitter.com/4omVXtzCfN

— Tennessee Football (@Vol_Football) September 30, 2017

This wasn't the snap Tennessee needed right now. pic.twitter.com/BSfQ8N5owM

— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) September 30, 2017

The highlight reel plays you’ve already seen a few dozen times

Ryan Finley doing it all pic.twitter.com/T2RTVqwgtg

— Pack Pride (@PackPride) September 30, 2017

Only thing better than one long TD run for Josh Adams? How about TWO! #MIAvsND pic.twitter.com/BbT0Bif1fq

— Chat Sports (@ChatSports) September 30, 2017

Insane. pic.twitter.com/C8S4XU3sR7

— AT (@ATGator) September 30, 2017

Trouble in Paradise – Get back coach edition. #BetrayalOfTrust pic.twitter.com/TYlTSaXTCO

— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) October 1, 2017

Shame on you Antonio Jones Davis ,LB for @NIU_Football who intentionally poked @Aztec_Football #RashaadPenny in the eyes. Should be ejected! pic.twitter.com/PEpH4T2UzH

— Lya Vallat (@Ballgirl8) October 1, 2017

Saquon's out here slingin' touchdowns, because why not?

What's next, @coachjfranklin? Can he kick field goals, too? 😄 pic.twitter.com/7RH5XmQ06o

— Big Ten Network (@BigTenNetwork) September 30, 2017

.@UKFootball's Zach Johnson 😮 pic.twitter.com/zXwJBTQ5fU

— SEC Network (@SECNetwork) September 30, 2017

The dab lives on 😂 pic.twitter.com/hjXoxH5XGU

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) September 30, 2017

Most lit crowds of the weekend

“Back Home” – Andy Grammer.

The Nation Anthem of Cougs everywhere. pic.twitter.com/yGVvZ1D9a1

— ZZU CRU (@ZZUCRU) September 30, 2017

Nut flex of the year nominee

A post shared by TFM (@totalfratmove) on Sep 30, 2017 at 8:44pm PDT

Hey @LSU, thanks for having us down for homecoming! We really enjoyed it! 😁

— Troy University (@TROYUnews) October 1, 2017

AP Top 25

1. Alabama (44 first-place votes)
2. Clemson (17)
3. Oklahoma
4. Penn State
5. Georgia
6. Washington
7. Michigan
8. TCU
9. Wisconsin
10. Ohio State
11. Washington State
12. Auburn
13. Miami
14. USC
15. Oklahoma State
16. Virginia Tech
17. Louisville
18. USF
19. San Diego State
20. Utah
T21. Notre Dame
T21. Florida
23. West Virginia
24. NC State
25. UCF

Me after seeing UCF in the top 25 less than two years after going 0-12:

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