Weed Is So Hot Right Now

Rnewtonblock7 years ago

Marijuana is absolutely on fire.

It’s the hottest substance in the game right now and its positive momentum is unrivaled by anything else. It seems that every day a new somewhat important person comes out and endorses the great green goddess. The most recent endorsement came from 75-year-old former NBA Commissioner, David Stern, who said, “Fuck it let the boys smoke!” Actually he said something about changing the collective bargaining agreement to allow marijuana based on state’s rights blah blah blah – but basically he’s all in on weed and wants NBA players smoking it as often as possible.

I’m pretty sure his endorsement comes because Stern thinks back to his days as the commish and realizes that some of the more devastating moments of his tenure could have been avoided if everyone had just been stoned. He probably remembers the “Malice at the Palace” when Ron Artest and the Pacers pummeled some Pistons fans (which they deserved) and thinks, “I bet if Ron were high AF he would’ve been way more chill.” Ron Artest later changed his name to Metta World Peace so he most certainly found his way to the devil’s lettuce in the end.

Before endorsing weed grandpa Stern was probably sitting in a rocking chair, dribbling a basketball with one hand and lifting a tightly rolled J to his lips with the other when he thought to himself, “I bet Latrell Sprewell wouldn’t have tried to choke the shit out of his coach in’97 if he felt as high and as at peace as I do right now.” And if Donald Sterling were twice-baked he probably would’ve been like “ehhh Instagram is stupid anyways.” Then Stern was probably told to get off the front deck of the Cracker Barrel or management would call the police. That’s how I pictured it playing out in my head anyways.

I just find it pretty amazing that people like David Stern, a 75-year-old white guy who was likely raised to believe that smoking weed leads to ax murder (look up 60’s and 70’s anti-marijuana propaganda, it’s hilarious) are coming full circle on the topic and now support its use. If David Stern can come out and endorse marijuana I wonder who else will follow suit. In the end though – with or without famous people’s support – it’s inevitable, marijuana will be legal. Marijuana will win. And once it’s already won I wouldn’t be surprised to see Kevin Durant join its team and endorse it..

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