It’s Chaos In The Streets As Manhattan College Kids Are Going Too Hard

Socrates Johnson8 years ago

There are only three things certain in life: death, taxes, and college kids getting fucked up. You’d think that folks who lived by a college would come to terms with that last truism and accept the fact that they likely just put down roots in a highly concentrated turn-up zone. But apparently the people who live by Manhattan College in the Bronx, and I’m paraphrasing here, did not sign up for any of this shit and are throwing a royal bitch fit over the shenaniganry that’s been going down in the area.

From New York Post:

The rowdy 20-somethings leave behind garbage, empty beer cans, and plenty of puke in Riverdale, residents told NBC New York.

Some of the parties get so out of hand that apartment buildings will shake, Sarah Lang and Julia Lorusso told NBC.

Councilman Andrew Cohen, whose district covers Riverdale and other nearby neighborhoods, said he’s fielded numerous complaints from residents about the private college, whose tuition is about $58,000 a year.

“The kids are drinking all of the time, all over the place,” Cohen said. “The amount of drinking that takes place at Manhattan College is out of control and the school takes no responsibility for the kids off campus.”

From the way that the distinguished Mr. Cohen set the scene, you’d think it was just a bunch of mindless zombie children stumbling throughout the community and setting up little drinking checkpoints. In the post office. In the public library. In the Episcopal Church. Drinking, dranking, drunking. Oh, and hey, Sarah Lang and Julia Lorusso. Those shaking apartment buildings? Yeah, that’s not from partying. You two are serial earthquake survivors. Congratulations.

Look, I don’t care if you go to a hard-partying state school or an Ivy League university, kids are going to drink in college (unless you go to BYU. Congrats on the caffeine though). I myself went to a small liberal arts college in southern Michigan. Despite its extremely conservative reputation, kids still got fucked up there. Obviously, it wasn’t an insane party scene, but there was still “garbage,” “empty beer cans,” and “plenty of puke” left behind after a weekend of partying. Was the school located in an affluent neighborhood? Fuck no. It was in a town of less than 7,000 people where the biggest attraction was a Walmart and the main commodity was meth.

So, Councilman Cohen, you want the drinking in your district to stop? Just move the college behind a dumpster (you’re in New York, I’m sure there are countless to choose from) where all the homeless people smoke spice. Problem solved. You’re welcome. I’ll take my check in the mail..

[via New York Post]