Stop Playing Beer Pong During Crowded Parties

PortlandPledgeHazers8 years ago

You don’t want to be, be near, or be associated in any way with the guy who’s way too into playing beer pong during crowded parties. This asshole can usually be found obnoxiously shouting about the fact that he “hasn’t lost a game since fucking pledgeship, bro” or crawling around on all fours trying to chase down a ball which is lost in a sea of people actually having fun at the same party.

Beer pong is a game rooted in tradition and glory. It has bridged the generation gap while subsequently getting its players absolutely trashed since what I can only imagine has been the 1700s. However, pong, like all good things in life, has its time and place. Just as you should never wear shorts to the bar, you should never play pong during a banger. Now let’s not take what I’m saying out of context: pong is incredible. Few other activities allow for one to let loose their primitive, competitive nature while simultaneously allowing them to catch a buzz. I urge you all to have your chapter hold a pong tournament against a rival house on campus and watch yourselves (d)evolve into war-mongering drinking machines. But during crowded parties, when space is limited and conversation is difficult? Games such as rage cage and flip cup take the cake. There is a clear line that should be drawn in the sand regarding times to play beer pong: pregames, chill nights, and brotherhood events.

Think of it this way: who would you rather be — the guy at the party chasing tail, harassing pledges, and having a stress-free good time, or the guy stuck in a 45-minute game of pong with a female partner who’s showing no interest in you all while your equally miserable opponents are being brutally strict about enforcing the house rules nobody cares about? The answer is clear.

The next time somebody invites you to play a round of pong during a house party, remember to take the high road and keep the tables clear (or reserved for flip cup). After all, tables are only meant to be two things and two things only during parties: platforms for drunk chicks and objects on the receiving end of your belligerent pledge brother’s atomic elbow. .