New Jersey Santa Dreams Of White Christmas, Gets Caught With Crack Pipe

ItalianStallion7 years ago

It’s officially that time of year: the grey area between Halloween and Thanksgiving during which everyone has pretty much already conceded defeat to Christmas. I love Christmas, but when I’m at a bar on Halloween and after the clock strikes midnight they start playing Christmas carols I think it’s a little much.

While everyone has their own special holiday traditions, some Santa (presumably of the mall variety) gave new meaning to the term “white Christmas.”

From Asbury Park Press:

A retiree who volunteers as a Santa Claus is facing drug charges alleging police found a crack pipe in his vehicle during a New Jersey traffic stop.

How I love living in this state sometimes. At first glance I thought this was a heartwarming holiday story that could only come out of the great state of Florida, but nope — it was right in my backyard in the Garden State of New Jersey. Maybe I shouldn’t rush to judgment though. Maybe not all the facts on this Kris Kringle’s white lightning addiction are out?

They say an officer saw the crack pipe next to a Santa Claus costume.

Well, that seems a little cut and dry. But Santa, I can’t blame you. With all those houses you have to deliver presents to in just one night, you sure as hell need something stronger than milk and cookies. Besides, no one would ever suspect it. The white nose candy would fit right in with the white beard. Really easy to hide from Mrs. Claus. Plus, now we know the real reason Rudolph’s nose is always red, am I right?

Santa, now that I know that’s how you roll you know what I’m leaving out for you when you visit my house this Christmas. Hopefully you’ll leave a little extra something in my stocking, too..

[via Asbury Park Press]