Facebook Asks For Nudes For “Security Reasons”

ItalianStallion8 years ago

Ever since the beginning of time, men have sought out nudes. First during nomadic times, they would have to be painted on the walls of caves. During the Victorian era, they became tasteful risqué paintings and peep shows. Now we are blessed to live in this digital age where nudes can be shared freely through the click of an app or button, which is both a blessing and a curse.

Nudes are great, but with great power comes great responsibility. Some dickheads can’t handle this responsibility, and increase his dickhead-ness by sharing them online as some sort of revenge porn. Well, don’t worry anymore. Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook have got a way of dealing with that cyber threat.

From Forbes:

The Australia Broadcasting Corporation (ABC) reported this week that Facebook will be testing out a new preemptive method for blocking the unauthorized distribution of nude photos on the site, and (they hope) with the help of Australian Facebook users…In short, the test program would allow users who are worried their intimate photos might be shared on the site to upload such photos to Messenger, and algorithmically assess-and-tag or “hash” their content for future reference. Facebook’s photo and face-matching algorithms would then be on the lookout for those photos should they appear elsewhere on the platform, according to the plan.

All jokes aside, I can already hear every Australian 15-year-old create a LinkedIn so they can try to apply for the position. More likely than not the position is already filled. Just imagine your supervisor stepping into your office to say you’d be looking through nudes instead of coding FarmVille invites.

Apparently, this is being tried out in Australia, the great country that brought us Hugh Jackman and Steve Irwin. I can already imagine some Crocodile Hunter-esque Facebook employee, sitting on a laptop in the outback with a Kangaroo next to him saying, in a thick Aussie accent, “crickey, look at the knockers on this Sheila. A koala could nest right in between them beauties.”

Shooters gotta shoot, and Facebook is shooting right at the target..

[via Forbes]

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