menorah

Some Penn State Hooligans Stole A Rabbi’s Giant-Ass Menorah And Framed The Jewish Fraternity For It
8 years ago

menora

*Record scratch* You’re probably wondering how these four non-kosher thieves found themselves in this situation.

What sort of anti-Semitic Ocean’s 11-style fuckery is this, you ask? The kind that happens at Penn State, apparently.

From Penn Live:

Police are trying to find those responsible for taking a menorah from outside the home of a rabbi at Penn State University, and leaving it damaged in front of the Sigma Alpha Mu Jewish fraternity.

Rabbi Hershy Gourarie, co-director of Chabad of the Undergrads at Penn State University, said police are trying to find four suspects seen in surveillance footage outside the fraternity.

The large menorah was taken from outside his State College home overnight Oct. 27 while he was observing Sabbath, and was found damaged at 7 a.m. Oct. 28 at the fraternity, he said. Gourarie noted that he hosts many Penn State students at his home.

We’ve all been there before, right? One second you’re taking full advantage of half-off pitchers at Joe Blow’s Bar and Grill, and the next thing you know, you’re framing a Jewish fraternity for menorah theft.

No doubt, this is one hell of a frame job; one that poor Rabbi Hershy clearly isn’t too happy about.

Gourarie said he knows that none of the Sigma Alpha Mu Jewish fraternity members were involved in the incident. He said the fraternity was also a target in the incident, and its members are cooperating with police.

This is why we can’t have nice things. Seriously though, if you’re going to engage in some college hooliganism, maybe just snatch a six-pack from a house party or something small like that. You jack a big-ass menorah, it will be missed. Plus, the dude they stole it from is a goddamn rabbi. A man of God. Just bad looks all around.

I’m sure in a couple of years, after these four schmucks are finished clocking out of their late-night Taco Bell shifts, this is something they’ll all be able to laugh at.

[via Penn Live]

Image via Wikimedia Commons

    1. DaisyArnold

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      8 years ago at 1:07 pm
      1. SharkWeekTFM

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        8 years ago at 12:20 pm
    2. Ghost of Dixie Past

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      8 years ago at 1:09 am
      2. thevaginator

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        8 years ago at 8:59 pm
      6. thevaginator

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        8 years ago at 5:30 pm