Trip-Sitting Is My New Favorite Pastime
8 years ago

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I’ve never done LSD or shrooms. I’m not big into all that psychedelic stuff. I don’t have a problem with it. If it’s your thing, that’s cool with me. It seems like a very deep, and spiritual experience. A lot of geniuses and innovators were big into psychedelic drugs. Steve Jobs loved LSD, he credits his success to dropping acid to open up his mind and expand his imagination during his younger years. Hell, The Beatles did a shitload of LSD and they were the four greatest rappers of the ’90s.

To be totally honest, the only reason I’m hesitant to try acid or shrooms is that weed gets me super paranoid. So if one weak ass joint fucks me up so astronomically, I can’t even begin to imagine what a massive pussy I’d be if I was high on anything stronger. Weed doesn’t even last very long. An acid trip lasts like 9 hours or some shit (maybe it’s more, maybe it’s less, I’m too lazy google it.)

So my stupid weed-induced bouts of insane paranoia are the main reason I don’t wanna try acid. Well, that and the fact that I fucking hate hippies. But that goes without saying.

But a lot of my friends love dropping acid. And these past couple of months I’ve realized that my new favorite hobby is trip-sitting.

Trip-sitting, also known as “sober-sitting”, or being a “co-pilot” is basically just hanging around people who are tripping on acid. You’re dead sober, and you just chill there to make sure they don’t accidentally stab themselves or put their cat in the microwave. You’re basically a babysitter. But instead of watching children, you’re watching grown men who think they can talk to trees and taste colors.

To the naked eye, trip sitting sounds boring and annoying, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s the most entertaining thing in the world.

When someone is tripping on acid, they feel like they’re in a magical world of new perspectives and beautiful revelations. They feel like Mother Earth is communicating with them, telling them that we are all one and the only true god is love. That reality is an illusion and we ultimately choose our destiny and we have the power to change the universe.

And that all sounds beautiful. But to the sober eye, you just see a bunch of wide-eyed clowns rolling around in the grass giggling like psychotic toddlers. It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

Last time I was trip sitting, one of my friends laid on the floor saying she was in the Titanic and she was sinking, and she was swimming to the top. She also told me “I feel like Ratatouille”, which REALLY pissed me off because Ratatouille wasn’t even the characters name, it was just the name of the movie. The rat’s name was Remy. What a moron.

But nevertheless, it was hilarious. As it always is. So do yourself a favor and trip sit. You’ll have the time of your life. Forreal.

Image via Shutterstock

  2. thevaginatorv2

    FIRSTTTT you poors can all bow down and eat my filthy unshaven and rarely wiped ass

    8 years ago at 12:05 pm
  4. Fratty Couples PGA

    FIRST!!!! HA HA HA FUCKERS!!!! I RULE WALLY’S MOM’S BEDROOM AND THE FUTURE!!!! I AM FUTUREMAN!!!! MAIL ME YOUR SLAMS!!!!

    8 years ago at 5:08 pm
  5. jizzrag69v2

    Hello, peasants. I’m back for another edition of Tales For Losers to Crank It To, aka My Normal Life. Since rolling into Vegas Wednesday night in my family’s private jet and setting up digs at the $25k per night Titus Villa, I am up over $200k at the blackjack table and I’ve had my cock in twenty different female asses, excluding Fratty Couples’ and sigmanugs311’s moms but including three generations of the same Vietnamese family, daughter, mother, grandmother. Pro tip: save grandmother for last. She made the other two look like amateurs. While I’m boning her she kept saying “meenoveecee meenoveecee” whatever the heck that means. Things are going so well, I’m going to stay out here a few more days. I don’t have to go back to class anytime soon. My family is so important to the university, I get an A even if I don’t show up. My family donated most of the land on which the university is located. My great grandfather has two buildings named for him, my grandfather has a street and a park with his name on it, and my father, who was both student body and IFC President, has his name on a pedestrian bridge. Most of the professors on the faculty are paid through grants and fellowships provided by my family. They see my name on the roll and just enter an A no questions asked. Anything less and they’ll lose their funding and have to work for a living. I’ll probably show up for classes just in time to leave on Spring Break. Later, bitches. You can stop cranking it now. Jizz Out (JO)

    8 years ago at 3:00 am