The 2018 Lacrosse All-Name Team Rips Twine On And Off The Field

Dent7 years ago

Some people are born really good looking while others have really sweet names. And then there are others who are less fortunate. They might have trash names like Dent, and some might not be so blessed with looks. It’s a fact that the select few given distinguished names will have an easier time in life because no matter how much of a fuckup you may be, if you have a name like Shackleford, things are going to work out for you.

Each year, Inside Lacrosse creates a list to honor this exclusive group. They compile all of the names from lacrosse programs across the country to bring us the most impressive of the bunch. So without further ado, here is the 2018 Lacrosse All-Name Team.

From Inside Lacrosse:

FIRST TEAM
A – Shackleford Stanwick, Sr., Johns Hopkins
A – Quinn Commandant, Fr., RIT
A- Declan Smartwood, Jr., St. John’s
M – IV Stucker, Sr., Roanoke
M – Holden Rosen Grupp, Sr., Tufts
M – Dar Sleeper, Fr., Michigan
D – Sky Dupree, Sr., North Greenville
D- Taggart Eymer, Fr. Bryant
D – Dallas Creamer, Jr., Stevens
G – Colby Hamwey, Jr., Assumption

One of my exes tried to give me something called a Dallas creamer once. ‘Twas a wild night.

SECOND TEAM
A – Wheaton Jackoboice, Fr., Notre Dame
A – Tanner Elwood, Fr., Tennessee Wesleyan
A – Corson Kealey, Fr., Robert Morris
M – Kadin Kightlinger, Gettysburg
M – Whitten McCune, Fr., Cumberlands
D – Conn Curry, Sr., Roanoke
D – Gaige Barber, Fr., Wilkes
D – Raines Shamburger, Fr. Duke
G – Hampton Brannon, Fr., UMass

The second team sounds like if Santa recruited his reindeer from a boarding school full of east coast elitists. On Hampton, on Raines, on Corson, and Kadin. On Tanner, on Conn, on Whitten, and Wheaton!

THIRD TEAM
A – Keegan Khan, Fr., Villanova
A – Gareth Gacetta, Fr., Connecticut College
A – Clayton Proctor, Fr., UMass
M – Sage Rieth, Fr., Furman
M – Mackenzie Iacocca, Fr., St. John’s
M – Quenton Pearson, Fr., Belmont Abbey
D – Winston Wenham, Jr., Ithaca
D – Burke McFillin, Fr., Washington
D – Gab Goncalves, Jr., Amherst
G – Gib Versfeld, Fr., Amherst

Burke McFillin sounds like the name of either a famous Irish clog dancer or a porn star. One of the two. Or both. 2017 is a weird time, man.

Check out how this year’s team stacks up to the 2017 squad here..

[via Inside Lacrosse]

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