Casino Friday Is Back And Oh Boy Do I Need This
Hey players. I’d be doing all of you a real disservice if I didn’t remind you that it’s that time again. Today. High noon. 12 o’clock CST until 1 o’clock CST, that’s when Casino Friday makes its highly anticipated return to the Grandex Headquarters in Austin, Texas.
MyBookie.ag — you know what it is. Not only can you throw down sports bets before and during games (I prefer NFL, because time is a flat circle), but you can also hop on the tables and get the rush of a casino directly from your mystery-stained couch while watching SportsCenter on loop for the third time today.
I need this. God, I need this.
We’ll be broadcasting live from Content Alley at Grandex Headquarters as we take over the blackjack tables on MyBookie.ag and freak out the live dealers by talking to them like we’ve personally known them for months, if not years.
You can follow our table action live on Snapchat and Instagram Stories, or, even better, join us at the tables and get rich yourself. MyBookie.ag is offering you a 50% bonus up to $1,000 when you use the promo code “ACE50” and you’ll receive an additional $25 in casino chips to play with. We’re literally giving you free money to play with as long as you toss down some money yourself.
Casino bonus is only eligible for use in the virtual casino please refer to the MYBookie rules and regulations for full bonus details. You can see rules and regulations by clicking HERE. .
Hello, losers. You may have heard that my family used our influence to get John Currie fired, so now I can give you the inside scoop on the Great Gruden Hunt. Apparently money isn’t what motivates this asshole. What he really craves is recognition. My dad offered to deposit $100 million each year in an offshore account in Gruden’s name. He accepted that but said he also wanted a building with his own name on it. So we promised to demolish Ayers Hall and replace it with the Jon Gruden Center for Quarterback Cogitation. Then the guy demanded that a gigantic bronze statue of himself be erected straddling the stadium. He wanted one foot on Phillip Fulmer Way, the other foot smack in the middle of Estabrook Hall, and his balls dangling over mid-field. Yeah he envisioned himself naked. He called it The Collossus Of Grude. So we had an artist whip out a two-foot mock-up. It showed Gruden with his dick in one hand, a tube of lotion in the other, and a big glob of bronze jizz dripping out onto the field. Long story short, he wanted a longer dick and didn’t accept that it was structurally impractical so he backed out of the deal. Then we went after his dumb fuck brother but he wouldn’t budge. Turns out he likes getting fucked in the ass by Kirk Cousins. Literally. One of our investigators got a video of them in a hotel room and Cousins keeps yelling “You like that?” So now we’re looking into digging up Robert Neyland and using some of his DNA to clone him. Money is no object for a true Vols fan. And there’s no way Bama can defend against the single wing. Jizz Out.
7 years ago at 10:49 amYou try way too hard
7 years ago at 10:56 amYou know who tries way to hard squirt? Your mom when my cock is down her throat
7 years ago at 9:02 pmCommenting on a comment about trying to hard by trying hard yourself. Get lost.
7 years ago at 10:45 amTennessee football is an even bigger joke than you are. I look forward to you using all 5 of your accounts to downvote this comment and still don’t give a shit because Auburn is playing for the SEC championship this weekend and you’ll be at home crying about losing to Vandy two years in a row. On a positive note: at least your women’s basketball team is undefeated, pussy.
7 years ago at 11:05 amYou wouldn’t say that to my face you fucking pussy
7 years ago at 11:11 amYour school may have a better football team than mine, but I still pull more than you, am richer than you, and would beat your ass if you ever said that shit to my face, so why don’t you sit yourself down short stack
7 years ago at 11:54 amAre you guys ever gonna release a picture of Jared’s 2nd butthole??
7 years ago at 11:35 am