Santa Declares Treasury Secretary Mnuchin Extra Naughty, Gives Him Horse Poop Instead Of Coal

ItalianStallion8 years ago

Hopefully Santa was good to you and brought you everything you wanted. Instead of leaving out milk and cookies this year, I left the big man a few ice cold brews and some Italian cookies — and jolly ol’ Saint Nick rewarded me accordingly. I woke up at the crack of dawn (read: 10 a.m. after sleeping off my Christmas Eve hangover) and unwrapped a bottle of Grey Goose and Salvatore Ferragamo slides (Santa couldn’t have me dressing like a peasant now; c’mon).

Turns out I wasn’t the only one opening surprising boxes this Christmas.

From KTLA:

Someone sent a package wrapped in holiday gift paper and filled with horse manure that was addressed to United States Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and placed on a street in Bel-Air, the Los Angeles Police Department said Saturday evening.

Dropping shit at someone’s house is a classic Billy Madison move, except they put it in front of the wrong house and the neighbor who received it called the cops.

The Los Angeles Police Department’s bomb squad was called to the home and officers opened the box, finding a pile of horse manure inside. Police said the package had been gift wrapped and was marked as being from “the American people.”

Imagine being a member of the bomb squad, going through all that intense The Hurt Locker-type training, and then finally getting called into action. You get there, and find out what you prepared to risk your life to diffuse was a steaming box of horse shit.

Maybe it was Santa? Maybe Santa thought little Stevie Mnuchin was so naughty he needed something stronger than coal?

That’s Santa’s call, because who am I to judge Steve Mnuchin? After all, he’s got everything I aspire to have in life: mediocre looks, a smoking hot actress wife, and a bank account that would make a rapper blush. I don’t know what Steve might have done to be naughty, but that picture he took of him and his wife holding the new treasury money with his name on it definitely gave off some Bond villain vibes.

Hey, maybe Santa had a little mix-up; maybe that box of shit was meant to be sent to Wally Bryton’s house..

[via KTLA]

Image via Shutterstock