Ride These 5 NFL Picks So You Can (Fingers Crossed) Start The New Year Off With Some Cash

Mookie Bets7 years ago

Yooo, Mooks. I’ve been lukewarm over the past two weeks, going 4-6, but that just means I’m due for a big one. Last week, I got caught up in the Christmas spirit and lost my edge, but this week I’m focused on bringing in some cash to start the New Year right. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to be a brokeboi after NYE because my friends and I decided to be Brads and get a table at a club, so that just means I need these bets to hit so I have enough cash to buy JUUL pods next week. Big week here, to say the least.

Anyway, I’m 51-28-2 over the last 16 weeks, so I want to end the season right. Time to get hotter than an Instagram model fresh out of hip, ass, and tits (HAT) surgery and ride the momentum into the playoffs. Let’s send it.

All lines via MyBookie.ag. Hit them up for all your gambling needs.

Panthers vs. Falcons – Panthers +4

There are as many implications flying around with this one as there are implications surrounding the new tax bill. Even Jenna Fischer (Pam from The Office) was implicating random false shit about the bill.

Thanks, Pam. Anyway, if the Panthers win and Saints lose, the cats clinch the NFC South. If the Falcons win, they get a playoff spot. Frankly, I think the Falcons are a bigger joke than this cup of coffee that thought it could dominate Mike Leach.

That coffee never stood a chance. It’s going to be a close game with so much on the line, so I’ll take Panthers +4 all day.

Cardinals vs. Seahawks – Seahawks -9

Seattle is trying to slide into the playoffs like Jaden Smith is trying to slide into a Bollywood movie.

I know your dad is way cooler than you, but c’mon — Bollywood? Shoot for the stars, dude. Anyway, the Hawks need the Panthers to beat the Falcons and a home win themselves against the Cardinals to sneak into the playoffs. With the Hawks in a do-or-die situation, I’m riding this spread all the way to Bollywood with Jaden. I expect the Hawks to shit on the Cardinals, therefore -9 is the play.

Saints vs. Buccaneers – Saints -7

If the Saints beat the Bucs, they secure the NFC South and a home playoff game. I know Drew Brees and the Saints want a home playoff game in the Superdome as bad as James Harrison wants to destroy the Steelers, so I’ll take the Saints to cover this one with ease. The Bucs are cooked anyway, and I would be shocked if they put up a fight.

Bills vs. Miami – Bills -2

The Bills have an interesting playoff scenario. They must win, but they also need losses from the Titans and Chargers or just one loss from the Ravens to stay alive. Either way, the Bills are desperate for a W just like Johnny Manziel is desperate to play football again. He was finally cleared to play in the CFL, and whichever team he signs with is automatically my favorite team in Canada. Go Bills, go Johnny Football.

49ers vs. Rams – 49ers -3

The Rams will be resting key starters this week, so I’ll be all over Jimmy GQ and the 49ers. I’ve been on the wrong side of the Niners for like the past 3 weeks, but I’m done with that shit like Chrissy Teigen is probably done flying commercial.

If that was happening to me, I’d probably just cancel the vacation altogether. What a fookin’ deal. Anyway, the 49ers have been looking great, and the Rams don’t give a fuck about this game. Ride the 49ers.

Well, that’s all from me in 2017. Ride these picks and start 2018 right by going up big on your bookie so he has to sell his home and liquidate his assets. As always, hit me up on Twitter @ConesDeal to discuss or keep up with my bets. Happy New Year, Mooks..

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