Why You Shouldn’t Take A College Class With Your Significant Other

Grill Master Flex7 years ago

The second semester is upon us, hopes and dreams are nonexistent, and hairy legs are back in. My personal favorite part of coming back to class at the start of the semester is seeing couples walking into lecture halls together holding hands and ready to conquer the world. Some come in late struggling to find two seats together because the world will end if they don’t sit together, others come in early to snag two seats in the back row and giggle until class starts. Some last all semester, some break up and don’t make it a month. The latter is where it gets fantastic and can turn into a spectacle for your viewing pleasure.

The first signs of animosity between the two will be them coming to class separately or trading sharp whispers after they sit down together. Maybe the guy will desperately try to share quiz answers to make up for liking that girl’s pictures. When they aren’t even sharing a calculator anymore, you know it has all gone to madness. But then they will typically work it out and are back to holding hands and giggling not long after.

Fast forward a month and they are hanging on by a thread until it finally comes to a head and Brad and Jenna finally crack. The next class, they walk in totally separate. Jenna is way more dressed up than she usually is, and Brad comes in late and doesn’t have a pen. It has officially all come crumbling down, and they are absolutely regretting taking this class together. Soon enough they have new desk partners, and this is where it could get interesting. Who they choose to sit next to is a major variable.

Now I have seen many choices at this juncture, and most have yielded fantastic results. The most extreme case of this I have seen was where a recently separated girl sat next to one of her girlfriends in class and began to talk about her recent dates and one-night stands. She spoke very loudly about how great the movie they saw was and how the fornication afterwards was, in these words, “The best sex I have ever had.” Wow, cold blooded. I thought the dude was going to stand up and start flipping desks. He looked like this guy.

Another time, a recently separated girl immediately started sitting next to a different guy in the class, leading me to wonder if she had been doing her homework with this guy all along (if you catch my drift) and that’s what caused the rift. After a couple weeks of seeing them give each other answers, the guy finally had enough — he stood up with a loud groan mid-class and stormed out, never to return to Financial Management again (at least until next semester). Come on, dude; you’re going to drop a class you’re more than halfway through because Meghan found another man? Soft.

The most frequent result in these situations is indeed a dropped class, which is stupid. The lesson here, kids, is whatever you do, do not take a college class with your significant other. The consequences can be dire. Make up an excuse; you already have a class that time, it conflicts with your work schedule, you don’t want to share notes, etc. I don’t know, but figure it out. Be creative yet believable.

Heed my warning. You’ll thank me when you seen what I have seen..

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