Mizzou Guy Who Scored Date With Tennis Dime Genie Bouchard Gets Another, This Time To The Super Bowl
Remember the Twitter user who pulled off the impossible last Super Bowl by scoring a date with tennis hottie Genie Bouchard thanks to the Patriots’ incredible comeback? Well, Mizzou student John Goehrke is back at it again, this time scoring another date with Bouchard and a pair of tickets to Super Bowl LII. The worst part? He didn’t even have to fucking try this time.
Poof. Just like that. Just chillin’ at home on a Monday night, getting ready to chow down on a Tide pod, for dinner and then BAM! The NFL Canada and Genie Bouchard slide into your mentions with Super Bowl tickets. You’ve got a better chance seeing the Kansas Jayhawks win a football game than you do having this happen. It’s straight poppycock.
A ticket to the Super Bowl averaged $9,000 a pop on Monday, by the way, just in case you wanted me to dash that hopeful, spontaneous part of you that was like, “Well, maybe if I just buy a ticket…”
In the end, you can only give it up to John. A true underdog story.
It’s really just further proof that shooters gotta shoot. So, here I go, I’ll take my shot: Hey, Paige VanZant. When Tom Brady’s thumb rots on his old, decomposing body and falls off in the third quarter of the Super Bowl, can I get a date, too? Lmk..
[via Twitter]
Image via Instagram/@geniebouchard
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8 years ago at 1:15 amI’ve had better. Would still pleasure her rectum though
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8 years ago at 10:06 pmTelling the vaginator not to be a tryhard is like asking him not to breathe
8 years ago at 7:34 am