The Official 2018 Frat Bracket: Sweet Sixteen

TFM Intern7 years ago

It’s March and we’ve got bracket fever, so we ran back the Frat Bracket. The goal of the Frat Bracket is for the public (that’s you) to rock the vote as a means of determining the year’s frattest thing, whether that be an object, concept, action, event, or what have you. Follow along and help us decide what reigns supreme in the 2018 fraternity world.

We made it through the round of 32 with two sub-10 seeds still alive and kicking. 11-seeded Jumping on foldable tables lengthened its upset run by taking down party staple and 3 seed Flip cup, and 15 seed Loaded shotguns somehow extended its miraculous Cinderella story another round by downing 10 seed Sports betting. All 1 seeds are still alive. Will one fall this round? Let’s find out.

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Let’s get to our first region.

Note: Bracket regions are named after the four main frat regions in a purely ceremonial manner. The things listed under them do not necessarily have any specific relationship with that respective frat region.

#1 JUULing vs. #5 Hawaiian shirts

Top-seeded JUULing appears to be on a collision course with greatness in the Official 2018 Frat Bracket despite not having the blessing of far-right campus protestors.

Despite this lack of endorsement from everyone’s favorite megaphone holders, JUULing, with all its viral fame, has some noticeable swagger heading into the Sweet Sixteen. It’s almost like it thinks it can’t lose — and maybe it’s right. But if any 5 seed was going to take down JUULing in this tournament, it was always Hawaiian shirts with their easygoing and comfortable nature. A true staple of fraternity life, do tropical short-sleeve button-downs have what it takes to come for the king and not miss?

[poll id=”106″]

#2 Smirnoff Ice (Icing) vs. #3 Whiskey

If this battle were simply Smirnoff Ice vs. Whiskey, the answer would be so obvious that even a platypus without a pulse could pick who the eventual winner would be. But it’s not — oh, not even close. The addition of icing turns Smirnoff Ice from a possible round of 64 participant (auto bid, not regular-season champ) into a potential natty contender. If you don’t cheese every time you see someone get iced, you must’ve experienced some pretty traumatic shit in your life possibly regarding glass bottles and/or surprise chug scenarios. Icing is fun and timeless.

And yet so is whiskey, the perennial liquor of the fraternity world ever since corn was first left in a barrel too long or however whiskey is made. I guess the question to ask yourself is, “What’s more important, the drink itself or what you can do with it?”

[poll id=”107″]

#1 Fortnite vs. #4 Tinder

Wowwwwwwwwww I never thought it was possible for a 1-4 matchup to be so evenly matched, but here we are. Throw the seeds out the window, because this is a true toss up. The most popular video game/pregame activity combo takes on the most popular app/pregame activity combo, with the winner having a phenomenal shot at a Final Four appearance. One thing is certain with this matchup: whoever loses can hang their head high knowing they’re still highly influential when it comes to fraternity life. Proof:

[poll id=”108″]

#6 Beer pong vs. #15 Loaded shotguns

This is my Matchup To Watch™ this week. You have 6-seeded Beer pong, which has somewhat coasted to the Sweet Sixteen on the back of victories over weak opponents Funny composite photos and Fire, taking on this year’s Cinderella story, 15 seed Loaded shotguns. I’m mostly just interested in this battle because a 15 seed in the Elite Eight would be cool; this matchup most likely won’t have any major ramifications in the tournament considering the winner faces off against either Fortnite or Tinder. But hey, crazier things have happened, and a 15 seed has already made it this far, so who knows?

[poll id=”109″]

#1 Natural Light vs. #4 Fake IDs

How frat is Natty? They’re giving away a ton of money to help college grads pay off student loan debt. That’s FaF, for all you old-school TFMers out there.

How frat are Fake IDs? They allow for shenanigans like this:

Another STRONG 1-4 matchup that could have major ramifications on how this tournament ends up. Cast your vote and monitor closely.

[poll id=”110″]

#2 Golf vs. #3 Rush boobs

These two come from different fraternity worlds. One hails from the land of sport and camaraderie, the other from straight debauchery. One represents this:

and the other, this:

You truly can’t go wrong with either of these choices. It’s pretty sad that we must part with one, honestly. I’m shedding a lone tear in the cupboard under the stairs in which the TFM staff keeps me cooped up.

[poll id=”111″]

#1 Hazing vs. #4 Intramural sports

These two are similar because both have the potential to turn you into a better version of yourself at the risk of some minor anguish. In choosing between these two, think, “Which of these has played a more central role in my fraternity experience?” Should help you decide one way or the other.

[poll id=”112″]

#2 Tailgating vs. #11 Jumping on foldable tables

#2 Tailgating faces its own #1 time-tested method for pumping up the crowd in #11 Jumping on foldable tables. What is a tailgate without a drunkard splitting a table in half like it’s the battle of lumberjack vs. wood?

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What is jumping on a foldable table without a solid audience of tailgaters cheering you on? It’s a symbiotic relationship that, sadly, won’t have both players moving onto the Elite Eight.

[poll id=”113″]

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