Some British Guy Is Terrorizing D.C. Hotels By Skipping Out On Wildly Expensive Bar Tabs

ItalianStallion7 years ago

When one of my friends got a job at our old college bar, one of the first things they made her do was memorize a book of everybody every person banned from said bar. Complete with pictures was a list five pages long of people guilty of every crime from harassing bartenders to starting fights to running an illegal poker ring. I’ve personally never been banned from a bar, knock on wood. I’ve gotten a stern talking-to from a bouncer once for stealing a pitcher of beer, but other than that my record is squeaky clean.

Even if you think I’m public enemy #1 and frown upon my beer theft, I’ve got nothing on this guy.

From Fox News:

A whiskey enthusiast with a British accent has been drinking-and-dashing across Washington D.C. for the past few weeks, but police think they have a pretty good idea of who to blame.

Nicholas James Cooper, 21, has been arrested multiple times since March 13, often in connection with instances of theft at hotel bars, the Washington Post reports.

An alcoholic Englishman who steals expensive booze? Sounds like a forgotten James Bond villain I can emotionally connect with. Hopefully this dude turns into one of those criminals who writes a memoir detailing his life on the other side of the law.

The suspect’s most egregious offense, in terms of price, was perhaps his March 23 visit to the Ritz-Carlton, where he not only dined on rack of lamb, but also drank a $156 bottle of wine and downed a shot of 34-year-old Irish whiskey costing $1,200. He then charged his tab, which totaled $2,220.40, to the room of Denver Nuggets basketball player Trey Lyles — who was in town playing the Washington Wizards — before attempting to leave.

A wise man once told me if you’re gonna steal, steal big. Our liquor thief followed that advice by going for the classy whiskey that cost a cool grand and change per shot. I’d say his move of trying to charge his tab to an NBA player’s room was dumber than a sack of hammers, but I know a few hammers who worked hard for their PhDs and I don’t want to insult them.

Nicholas Cooper, we may not know you well, but you are definitely the most interesting thief in the world..

[via Fox News]

Image via Shutterstock