university of tennessee

University Of Tennessee Student Group To Hold Sex Carnival And The Buzzkillers Aren’t Amused

university of tennessee

My college used to have a giant end of the spring semester concert they called “Spring Fest.” Every year, they’d take part of my $50,000 tuition to pay some second-rate hip-hop artist to put on some half-assed show before finals week. It wasn’t all bad, though: the school would give us free T-shirts.

As much as I loved to hate these Spring Fest things, I’d be lying if I said they weren’t fun. Then I found out about a little shindig the University of Tennessee was throwing and it made Spring Fest look like ass. Plus, it sounds like good, clean fun for the whole family!

From FOX News:

A student group at the University of Tennessee-Knoxville is hosting “Sex Week” – six days of XXX-rated debauchery that make Mardi Gras on Bourbon Street look like a Sunday school picnic.

How fucking amazing does this sound? It’s like if Coachella and PornHub combined forces and had a baby — a baby that does cocaine. FOX News is comparing it to Mardi Gras; do they know how fucking awesome Mardi Gras is? Are you telling me this is going to blow Mardi Gras out of the water and then some? Sign me the fuck up, but don’t tell my parole officer.

The annual event is sponsored by a campus organization called “Sexual Empowerment and Awareness at Tennessee.” The group wants to promote “sexual health and empowerment.”

Thanks for clearing that up, chief. I thought the “sexual empowerment and awareness” club was an acapella group that sold girl scout cookies and ran study groups.

The workshops at the event have names too offensive to list here, but suffice it to say they are not the type of educational activities most parents have in mind when they fork over thousands of dollars of hard-earned savings to send their 18-year-olds off to college.

If FOX News can’t say the names of these workshops on air, you know it’s gonna be a good time. This dude definitely had a boner of shame while writing this article.

It’s as if the state’s flagship university is being run by a bunch of sex-crazed perverts with Ph.D. degrees.

Yup, that’s a pretty accurate description of public universities’ leadership.

This has become a big controversy for people in the state of Tennessee who are too old and have nothing better to do. Like, go get the early bird special at Red Lobster and chill the fuck out. Maybe if you went to the sex carnival and enjoyed yourselves it’d change your mind, but I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life.

In the meantime, college kids might be well-advised to keep their clothes on and steer clear of the Sex Week events. Don’t embarrass your mommas.

College is for embarrassing your parents. If you don’t continuously embarrass your parents for four years, you’re not doing college right. And as someone who’s graduated, disappointing your parents doesn’t stop after you get a diploma. In fact, that’s when it really begins.

Go out there and have a good time, Volunteers.

[via Fox News]

Image via Shutterstock

  1. thevaginator

    First! In a shocking turn of events, Mclosers mom has volunteered her asshole to be today’s prize for the second day on a row! Truly revolutionary stuff!

    7 years ago at 11:02 am
    1. thevaginator

      Now let’s all watch him take this bait. He might even post something on a different article but the kid knows he can’t resist. What a fucking loser.

      7 years ago at 11:02 am
      1. thevaginator

        What’s sad is that you wouldn’t dare say any of the shit you’ve been talking to my face you fucking pussy

        7 years ago at 5:29 pm
  2. Kav

    It sounds great in theory until you realize that the females who run and intend to participate in it are likely the kind who have neon-colored hair, don’t shave their armpits or legs, and moan about the patriarchy being evil in bed.

    7 years ago at 11:16 am
    1. Fratty Couples PGA

      Not really. Those bitches, I assume, are asexual. The bitches who participate in this kind of thing are probably solid sixes for the most part, but they have too many personal issues and are generally not considered classy enough to be in a sorority. And those chicks fuck like crazy.

      7 years ago at 3:25 pm
      1. Fratty McFratFrat

        Before this site shuts down completely, I wanted to say one more time what a total fucking loser you are.

        6 years ago at 7:50 am
  3. Butanefratoil

    So based on the title, is it just vaginator getting pegged by every feminist in California? Since our village idiot Virg is just some neckbeard carnie anyway

    7 years ago at 11:44 am
      1. thevaginator

        You’ve admitted you’re bottom tier kid. Now sit down before you get sent to the hospital

        7 years ago at 11:39 pm
      2. Butanefratoil

        Hey virgy, whomever told you that the term for jacking off guys is “knocked out” or “fight” was fucking with you. I’m sorry for judging you thinking you wanted to violently hurt us, I realize now you just want to jerk us all off

        7 years ago at 8:15 pm
      3. thevaginator

        I’d sent your front teeth into the back of your skull with my fist kid that clear enough for ya? I guess it doesn’t matter because you’re too much of a pussy to do anything anyways

        7 years ago at 11:38 pm
  4. SharkWeekTFM

    thevaginator what are your ambitions for post college life? Do you think they could change as you achieve each small goal or are you pretty set in your decisions?

    7 years ago at 11:44 am