Man Wearing Short Shorts Damages 16+ Cars At UCF-Area Apartment Complex, Arrested For DUI

El Taco7 years ago

We’ve done it. We’ve found him. We’ve found the guy with the highest concentration of false confidence in the entire world, and he apparently lives near the University of Central Florida. What a proud day in American history.

James Morris, 25, was arrested this past weekend after allegedly driving drunk and plowing into at least 16 cars at a UCF-area apartment complex.

From Knight News:

When the FHP trooper on scene found Morris, he was asleep on floor of the garage, where he told the trooper he “doesn’t want any problems,” the arrest report said.

When asked what happened, Morris said he didn’t remember, but that he had gone to Knight’s Pub and that he only had “one shot of captain.” The trooper noticed Morris’ eyes were bloodshot, his speech was slurred and his breath smelled of alcohol, and he later admitted he was given free drinks, the arrest report said.

Hmm. Telling an officer you only had one shot of Captain and then quickly changing your story to getting “free drinks” — bold strategy. How did these “free drinks” come your way? Do “free drinks” not count once you get behind the wheel of a car? Oh, they do? Weird. It goes without saying, but driving impaired is always a horrible, horrible, horrible decision.

That apparently wasn’t the only horrible decision Morris made recently. A News 13 cameraman was thankfully on scene when James Morris — or at least the man believed to be James Morris — was released from jail. His remarks and attire result in some internet gold.

Tough to wear shorts like that with balls so big.

For the record, it’s him.

Lesson here is don’t drink and drive, regardless of how gigantic your balls are or how small your shorts are. For the man formerly known as James Morris, it’s going to be a pricey lesson to learn. Just glad it didn’t cost anyone else..

[via Knight News]

Image via Twitter/@MyNews13