This Wild Man Who Has Been Bitten By A Shark, Bear, And Snake Would Make A Great Risk Management Chair

The Risk Management Chair is the least respected honor that can be bestowed upon a fraternity man. It’s the equivalent of being named designated driver and trying to lasso in a group of half-drunken idiots. The only difference being that risk chair is a much longer and excruciating commitment.

Clearly, the position isn’t for everyone. Nobody wants to be the one who has to come down on those having a good time. Especially when those people have no respect for your authority or existence.

Despite all of this, there are some who are up to the task. I’m not sure whether or not this 20-year-old kid from Colorado is in a fraternity (probably not) but he could easily be the greatest (worst) risk chair of all time.

From National Geographic:

893.35 quadrillion to one. That’s the likelihood of what’s happened to 20-year-old Dylan McWilliams. He was bitten by a shark, attacked by a bear, and bitten by a rattlesnake—all in just over three years.

Hand up, I can admit that those odds are staggering, but those numbers apply to an average person. Average people aren’t actively putting themselves in the company of sharks, bears, and snakes. The real stats we should be using with this kid are things like 1000 percent. As in, there’s a 1000 percent chance that something bad is going to happen when you adventure as hard as he does. We shouldn’t just inherently chalk it up to bad luck.

There’s a lot going on in this National Geographic article, but that’s basically how they sum it up: bad luck.

This kid’s problem is that he is putting himself in potentially dangerous scenarios very often. Just because bear attacks don’t happen that often doesn’t mean that you should be putting yourself in their company without fear. This dude’s been backpacking around the U.S. and Canada for two years. What did he expect to happen?

Based on these intangibles, I think young Dylan would make the perfect Risk Management Chair for one lucky fraternity. There isn’t an idea this guy wouldn’t turn down. He might even approve of this whole snake pit thing.

Sure, the fun would be short-lived, and the house would almost certainly be booted from campus, but wouldn’t it be worth it for the story?

[via National Geographic]

Image via Unsplash.com

    1. thevaginator

      We all thought you would have lost your v card by 25 but we were wrong there too huh slugger.

      7 years ago at 10:43 pm