San Antonio Brewery Bribes Kawhi Leonard To Stay With Spurs With Pizza And Beer For Life

ItalianStallion7 years ago

I have a love-hate relationship with the San Antonio Spurs. On one hand, I hate them for beating my New Jersey (they’ll never be Brooklyn) Nets in the NBA Finals when I was eight. On the other hand, I fucking love Kawhi Leonard.

I’ve been a fan of his ever since he beat Miami Heat era LeBron James in the finals. After that season, LeBron packed his bags, headed back to Cleveland, and balance was restored to the NBA universe.

At the end of a contract, and after an injury prone season where he barely played, Kawhi might be leaving Coach Pop and the city of the Alamo behind. That is unless one San Antonio brewery has anything to do with it.

Considering that Kawhi still lives like he’s a broke college kid, I’d say it’s a very convincing, and generous, offer. Hey, put the multimillion-dollar contracts aside — if you gave me free beer and pizza for life I’d consider coming out of intramural retirement to pursue a professional baseball career. Like one of my best friends, who acts as my de facto financial advisor, always says, “if it’s for free, it’s for me.”

Remember, Kawhi, money fame, and success are always fleeting. But stay in San Antonio and the beer will flow forever. I’m not your manager, but I think you should rake the deal..