15 Things Kanye Would Probably Tweet If He Were In A Fraternity

Dent7 years ago

We may now know him as the college dropout, but what if Yeezy had stayed in school and gone Greek? Just how would he be using those magical Twitter fingers? We can’t know for sure, but it would probably look something like this.

I don’t have any formal date. The whole world is my formal date. Ye loves everyone.

Y’all gonna hate me for saying this, but spring break 2018 was the greatest spring break OF ALL TIME.

Haze the body all you want, but don’t haze the mind. The mind holds truth, and the truth will set you free.

Of course I have pledges going to my lectures. Those lectures can’t teach me anything. The professor is just trying to limit my genius with fallacies about the human condition. I don’t play that.

I feel it was regrettable to tell that girl from Delta Zeta “I love you.” I love every being. Love is a construct of our society.

Whenever someone mentions the word “pledge” to me, it’s super manipulative. It’s like, “don’t do or say this because of your pledges.” My pledges are pledges of themselves. They don’t need an example.

I don’t get hazed. Nobody hazes Ye, but Ye. I can haze myself.

Just talked with nationals, and I want to make one thing clear to everyone. I, Kanye, do not agree 100% with the decisions made by members of the house this weekend. The only person I agree with is myself.

I tweeted out that text from my girlfriend to show that nobody can hold me down. No matter what she says I will continue to drink on weekdays. Ye cannot be controlled by anyone, not even my girlfriend. I’m my own man.

There’s been a lot of fake news so I just wanted to give you the facts. CEOS and Office Hoes will be the biggest party in human history with the hottest chicks and the most beer ever. I guarantee it.

The mob can’t make me not love Tanner from ATO. He may be a rival but we are both dragon energy. He is my brother. I don’t agree with the way he handles his pledges sometimes, but that’s what makes us individuals. We all have independent thought.

For anyone who has tried to text or call me in the past 2 weeks, I got rid of that phone so I could focus on throwing the greatest party of all time.

I hooked up with this sorority girl last night who I swear looked like Kim Kardashian. It was life-changing.

I will not be contained by the accepted fraternal hierarchy. Top tier, middle tier, bottom tier… It means nothing to me. I create the tiers with my style.

Nationals really thinks they’re going to shut down Yeezy’s chapter? I want to see them try. Nobody can shut Yeezy down unless Yeezy allows them to..

Image via Shutterstock