Valentine’s Day Letter

My Special Sweetheart,

You fear, sometimes, I do not love you so much as you wish? My dear Girl, I love you ever and ever and without reserve. The more I have known you the more have I loved. In every way – even my jealousies have been agonies of Love, in the hottest fit I ever had I would have died for you. You are a beautiful delicate flower, stunning and standalone from other slampieces.

Eternally and exclusively yours,

Bill

  1. theblueandblue

    Aww honey. You needed to do a blind CC or else they’ll all see that they aren’t the main recipient of the email. Aren’t men supposed to know how to work computers better than women?

    14 years ago at 2:14 pm
    1. The General

      Perhaps you should reread this in a humorous light. I did, and suddenly I didn’t care that the blind CC wasn’t utilized.

      14 years ago at 2:20 pm
    2. SEC frat star

      Stop taking it so seriously… anyone with half a brain is simply reading this to get a good laugh out of it. Of course the guy doesn’t have slammys at Auburn, Texas, Missouri, Missouri State, Ohio, Ole Miss, etc.

      14 years ago at 2:23 pm
    3. theblueandblue

      -The General… yeah. I forgot to consider it that way. This is what I get for trying to read this site after taking two exams.

      14 years ago at 2:25 pm
    4. Bro04

      Yea he does have slam pieces at each of those schools. He met them all on the internet

      14 years ago at 4:41 pm
    5. Marshall Frathers

      You’re on the wrong wall. Move over and go make me a sandwich while you’re in the kitchen.

      14 years ago at 1:23 am
  2. Keep the Change

    I can overlook how fake this is, as well as the fact that even if it were real, the letter isn’t funny. But, it’s concerning that of all the places you could have chosen, you picked Texas State as one of the recipients’ alma maters. Worse than concerning, it’s geed as fuck that you chose Missouri State as another. If you’re gonna post fake shit on here, go all out and tell us you wrote that email, which was addressed to every school in the SEC + UT, with one hand, while you skillfully, one-handedly took down a 14-pointer from 300 yards while having a pledge pour Makers down your throat on GW’s front porch as the three hottest, srattiest girls you’ve ever met are fighting over who gets to make the sandwich, who gets to give the BJ, and who gets to stay in your bed that night.

    14 years ago at 2:40 pm
    1. The Fifth

      I’d be more concerned with her inability to notice that it says at the top of the email all the other people it was CC’d to. However, to the man who purportedly did this… Frat on, good sir.

      14 years ago at 12:58 am
  3. ohiostlvr44

    ur a dumbass you didnt bcc and now the whole fucking world and email all those girls way to go you geed

    14 years ago at 4:15 pm
    1. InHocTillSheChokes

      Liking Ohio State, your spelling, your grammar, and the fact that you couldn’t realize that this is fake. NF.

      14 years ago at 6:23 pm