Frat Tuesday: Mardi Gras
On your trip down to The Big Easy, when you’re chugging bourbon and banging 7-gram rocks like Charlie Sheen in standstill traffic, keep in mind you are entering a warzone of raging. You’d be hard-pressed to find more debauchery in one place. Bourbon Street on any weekend is a madhouse of drunken sin, but during Mardi Gras, shit hits the fucking fan. Unless you Google “fat tits” or something similar, you’ll never see this many unattractive pairs of fun-bags in one place. Don’t get me wrong, some hot slams definitely flash their goods, but you have to fight through a sea of camcorder wielding welfare recipients to get a glimpse of those hot tots.
Frat Tuesday is about washing King Cake down with some Hand Grenades at Tropical Isle and Hurricanes at Pat O’Brien’s. Then, hitting The Penthouse Club and making it rain on the finest strippers Nawlins has to offer.
When you’ve had your fill of pretending you’re Pacman Jones and shoving through the hordes of geeds in the street, you can head up to your private balcony to look down on the less fortunate. Here, you can make it rain in a different fashion by throwing things at GDIs, and tossing beads to girls with low self-esteem looking to make daddy proud. If a geed looks up at you with disrespect, look down on him and roar,”SHUT THE FUCK UP PEASANT.”
If you can’t be in New Orleans, do your best to recreate a similar atmosphere at your respective frat mansions. Remember, this is all acceptable, because starting tomorrow you’re giving up blacking out before noon, for Lent. Don’t do anything The General wouldn’t do.
Great article. I was down there last weekend and did everything you
14 years ago at 9:50 ammentioned; it is definitely something every fratstar needs to experience.
Way to steal a name.
14 years ago at 10:45 am^haha
14 years ago at 1:20 pmGDI can’t spell it right either fratAnomics.
14 years ago at 2:07 pm2nd.
14 years ago at 11:01 amI wouldn’t put a single dollar down.
Mobile AL created Mardi GRAS. Screw NOLA. It’s a shit city.
14 years ago at 11:19 amand Mobile is much better?
14 years ago at 11:27 amMobile, Alabama is a shithole that has a Church’s Chicken or Popeye’s literally on almost every street corner.
14 years ago at 11:39 amYea your shitty city created it and we perfected it geed.
14 years ago at 12:15 pmNeither of them invented it, you geeds. Mardi Gras is based on Italian Carnivale, which has been celebrated in Venice for 700 years.
14 years ago at 12:25 pmTrue, but the 1 mil+ visitors we get every year suggest that no one really gives a fuck about Mobile. Also, fuck you I love New Orleans and Mobile is only good for a pit stop on I-10.
14 years ago at 12:28 pmI actually like Church’s and Popeye’s, but I probably shouldn’t admit that on this site.
14 years ago at 12:55 pmGo fuck your sister you inbread piece of shit. Have you ever been to a mardi gras party in mobile, much less a parade. I have and I can personally tell you that mobile is a hair on the nut sack of the great city of new orleans
14 years ago at 1:36 pmI know, the good citizens of Mobile are full of style and class. Mobile also created leprechaun sitings, too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8
14 years ago at 1:50 pmThis video sums up Mobile. Period. Frat on Fraton Rouge Senior, AMEN.
14 years ago at 2:56 pm^ that was the greatest piece of journalism i’ve ever seen. the sketch was just brilliant. and good thing that guy had a special leprechaun flute from his irish great great grandfather that apparently lived a thousand years ago or they would have been fucked.
14 years ago at 3:02 pmActually, the founding members of the Mistick Krewe of Comus from Mobile, AL created krewes and the tradition of parading during the Mardi Gras season in New Orleans…get your facts straight sweetheart.
14 years ago at 12:59 pmy’all are right there are definitely no dumbass hoodrats in New Orleans but the city of Mobile is just covered with them…
14 years ago at 6:38 pmHurricane Katrina flodded Mobile with hoodrats from New Orleans and they never left…
14 years ago at 8:51 pmThis article is funny as shit and very true
14 years ago at 11:23 ampacman was in vegas…
14 years ago at 12:44 pmCheers. Laissez les temps bons roulez.
14 years ago at 2:22 pmlaissez les bons temps rouler*
14 years ago at 2:31 pmThanks, been wasted all day. Took a stab at it anyway. Knew I’d fuck it up
14 years ago at 10:13 pmno you haven’t.
14 years ago at 3:22 pmWay to call someone out on raging a day after they called it. TFM.
douche
14 years ago at 12:00 amno problem frattiesburg. frat on, good sir.
14 years ago at 3:56 amSome geed looked at me and said hey fratstar, I said sweet hollister bro. Then the girls with him showed me their tits. Then I drunkenly bumped into an emo chick with my truck and told her to go slit her wrists.
14 years ago at 3:47 pmTell it again.
14 years ago at 5:00 pmHow about you suck my bird.
14 years ago at 8:00 pmSomething about you using your name as an insult was actually quite amusing.
14 years ago at 10:26 amLove that you’re fratting in our city, but your tourist tendencies really annoy us. Try to blend in a little better next time, ok?
14 years ago at 12:56 pmBeing sober enough to even remember Mardi Gras.NF
14 years ago at 1:37 amIt is indeed a necessity to spend part of your mardi gras break in Nola, (if your fortunate enough to have one and I don’t mean spring break) but to even come close to the wonderful shit hole called bourbon can be a bit distasteful and rather greatly agitating. The streets are covered in horse shit, vomit, and liberal gypsies. Instead I suggest uptown. This is where decent money resides and you won’t have to fight off hordes of the obese inorder to obtain all the drinks you can carry. Now, yes, for all the quartier lovers, one should by all mean indulge in ever gratifying sin that the street pleasurably offers, but I warn that margi gras is hardly the time to do so.
14 years ago at 1:52 am