FAIL FRIDAY: The Never Ending Stream of NF

TFM Intern14 years ago

Ten real submissions, 3 photos and one video, that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Randy Travis writting a song about cheating, but pussing out. NF. Garth Brooks writting a song about real experienced about cheating on his EX slampiece. TFM.
-Texas

W-R-I-T-I-N-G. That’s how you spell the word “writing.” No wonder she broke up with you. Now, quit drinking alone in your dorm listening to depressing country music, you goddamn disgrace.

Pissing in the sink when you’re drunk. NF. Pissing in the sink all the time cause you don’t care. TFM.
-Virginia

There is a line between TFTC and retardation. You have crossed that line. Also, your family probably doesn’t like you.

Today’s forecast is 70 degrees with a 100% chance of ICE. TFM.
-Massachusetts

I don’t know if you’re talking about Smirnoff or methamphetamine (probably the latter). Either way…you lose.

Waking up everyday and working at a Baseball Stadium. TFM.
-Missouri

You bastard. It’s you again isn’t it? You went from hosting at Chili’s, to washing windows, to slanging peanuts at the fucking ballpark. “PEANUTS! PEANUTS HERE!”

Free Girls Gone Wild passes and drinks because my slampiece showed her tits. TFM.
-Georgia

SPRING BREAK CANCUN 2011! Don’t come back.

Just boned a jar of chunky peanut butter. TFM.
-Missouri

Should’ve gone with creamy. It’s way smoother.

Getting head while playing words with friends. TFM.
-North Carolina

We get tons of submissions like this. “Getting head while __________.” Usually that blank is filled with “setting hundred dollar bills on fire and reading Decision Points with a huge lip in on my G6,” or something along those lines.

40s before our flight to Arizona. By the end of the day we’re shotgunning beers at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. TFM.
-Alabama

EDIT: Getting head while drinking Makers Mark on my flight to Arizona and then getting head at the bottom of the Grand Canyon while screaming “USA! USA! USA!” and reading Decision Points. SPRING BREAK GRAND CANYON 2011!

Dip so much my mom asked me to stop. I proceeded to spit at her and my dad made her do bos and toes while we spit on her more. Then she made us a sandwich and we spit that on her too. TFM.
-Texas

What is wrong with you? You and your dad might be going to prison…and hell.

Drunk in a bathroom stall, kicking the guys feet in the stall next to me cuz he’s invading my personal space. TFM.
-Ohio

Taking a shit at the bar. TFM. Playing footsie with the guy in the stall next to you. FaF.

I can’t even think of a prelude to this: