Throwback Thursday: Pro Athletes and Booze
13 years ago

Seeing those pictures of Dirk and The Cubes getting shitfaced at the bar after the Mavs snatched the NBA Championship got me thinking about all those classic pictures of drunk athletes floating around the internet. They are people too, just like us, who get blackout drunk and don’t think before letting slams flash their cameras. It’s time to revisit some of those classic photographs, and share our feelings about shitfaced professional athletes:


It’s all fun and games until Dirk chugs a little bit too much of the bubbly…


…and turns back into this goofy mother fucker.


The German and The Canadian used to get weird on the reg.


Kyle “The Bottle” Orton grinds on a blonde with big titties.


Cutler looking slightly handicapped. This is the same face he makes in the huddle, and with Kristin Cavallari in bed.


Shirt Update from Big Ben: Rape Like a Champion


Someone call Josh Hamilton’s sponsor, he’s out raging on blow again.


Seriously, someone call Hamilton’s sponsor.


Eli throws on his unrivaled dumbface.


This is actually pretty calm for John Daly.


Matt Leinart wears cool fucking boardshorts.


I wanna be like Mike.

    3. stanhope scott

      Fuck the south? Do we need remind you that we party harder, our women are gorgeous beyond any Yankee lady. We have better manners when needed but can still out party any of you yankees, we have the SEC the unquestioned best football and most frat schools in the U.S. Our the weather is beautiful which brings out the ladies in bikinis, and so on and so on. I could see how you are jealous of us.

      13 years ago at 7:46 am
    1. PDT_1848

      picture quality just ins’t high enough most likely. We all know they were prior to the photo or very soon after.

      13 years ago at 12:57 pm
  7. Reaganomic

    Mike looks high as fuck, Eli looks frat as fuck, and Leinhart looks dumb as fuck.

    13 years ago at 9:03 pm
  8. thefrattestofthemall

    jesus that lady who john daly is grabbin her tits looks like a fuckin man. tftc?

    13 years ago at 10:48 pm
  9. Frappa Fralpha

    almost every single one of these athletes is a huge fucking geed (with the exception of Daly, and maybe Cutler for the SEC connection) but they can rage…except Eli fuck him

    13 years ago at 11:12 pm
    1. frat machine

      you know Eli went to an SEC school also? but I agree most of these guys are geeds

      13 years ago at 8:29 am
    2. Courage

      Eli was also in a Fraternity, the same one his father was in. His brother is the Geed.

      13 years ago at 8:39 am
    7. utkjg

      Yes, but Daly is probably the most frat athlete of all time. Orton is fat, drunk, stupid, makes a lot of money and has a smokin’ hot slampiece with him in that pic. How is that not frat?

      13 years ago at 5:51 pm
    8. Haze W

      Because in real life he is still a geed….. The only one who is truly frat above is Eli Manning, Ole Miss (dumbass who wrote cutler was the only SEC connect well pretty sure Ole Miss is SEC) he’s a Sigma Nu and he’s got nos bama bangs. Can’t forget about his slampiece, who clearly the most attractive out of any of the girls above.

      13 years ago at 12:58 pm
  10. BROnonia_Docet

    If Orton didn’t have an arm “like a fucking rocket” as KP would say, he would get no play. That guy is unfortunate looking.

    13 years ago at 11:27 pm
    1. Cofrateral Damage

      No arguments on the “unfortunate looking” claim. Still I would hesitate to heap too much praise on Orton’s on-field abilities. This is a guy who spent time behind the likes of Rex Grossman and Brian Griese on depth charts and in his last two years as a starter in Denver went 11-17. I think this picture comes closer to summing up Orton’s true ability: http://tinyurl.com/5v89lso

      13 years ago at 8:57 am