FAIL FRIDAY: The Opposite of Thanksgiving

TFM Intern13 years ago

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Mom found porn on the iPhone. When she confronted me, I called her a bitch and told her to suck my dick cause I’m so used to doing it with slams. TFTC.
–Virginia

I guess she deserves it if she’s the one who raised you and this is how you ended up.

Actually fixing the frat swoop while doing the dougie. TFM.
–Louisiana

Nobody thinks you are cool.

Using a gas can as a flask to avoid an MIP when tailgating. TFM.
–Kansas

I hope you’re a smoker (I’m inferring that he would go up in flames).

Does it count as a blumpkin if you couldn’t actually shit? TFM.
–Alabama

No, it obviously doesn’t count. Your constipation kept your from achieving a rare feat.

A brother was so hammered and messed up on PK’s at semi formal it took the cops 4 tries to get him down with a taser. TFM.
–South Carolina

Taking so many pain killers that you don’t feel a police taser is not cool.

Slampiece just called her poonanny my “personal crematorium.” TFM.
–Louisiana

Your slam has one fucked up sense of humor.

Abandoning a pledge at a strip club two hours away, fully aware that he is straight off the boat from Australia. At least he got a lap dance out of it. TFM.
–Colorado

What if the strip club was anti-Aussie and they fucking killed him? Then what?

Using the empty Pringles can on the floor for a spitter because you’re too lazy to get out of bed. TFM.
–Ohio

I bet that Pringles can was still half-full, too. You disgust me.

Getting too horny and masturbating while the slam is en route, releasing your seed upon her face as she walks in the door. TFM.
–Washington

Way to have some self control.

Being so drunk that you eat a tube of toothpaste thinking it’s astronaut food. TFM.
–Illinois

What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard. At no point in your rambling…well, you know the rest.

I honestly have nothing to say about this.

Sigma Nu what it do?

I bet this is the guy that uses the half-full Pringles can as a spitter.

Oh man…or woman…wow.

Happy Thanksgiving. Drink until you erase this song from your memory: