FAIL FRIDAY: Getting Ripped
13 years ago

Ten real submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Can you please put this on the wall so Taylor Chatley knows that I love her? I choke myself and think about her every night. TFM.
–California

It was only a matter of time before we had a problem with stranglebating perverts stalking the TFM Sweethearts.

Went to Rent-A-Center to get the 60-inch flat screen I’ve always wanted. Guy let me take it for free because I said I was going to use it to watch The Masters. TFM.
–Alabama

You didn’t know Rent-A-Center had a special going where you say, “It’s for The Masters” and they let you take anything for free?

Slaying the slam doggy style the next morning with her face in a pool of my piss. TFTC.
–Michigan

You obviously know how to treat a lady.

My son will learn the Spanish alphabet, the Greek alphabet, and THEN the English alphabet. TFM.
–California

It’s the American way.

Last night I fucked up a kid on the basketball team. Just kidding, I handed him a beer like a bitch and told him I was his biggest fan. TFM.
–Iowa

Congratulations you’re a pussy and a jackass.

Almost running out of gas on the interstate. NF. Getting a girl’s number by passing a business card and a magnum out the window doin’ 80. TFM.
–Wisconsin

What the fuck is James Bond doing in Wisconsin?

“No, of course I don’t love anyone else.” When you’re in a secret homosexual relationship with your uncle. TFM.
–Kansas

Lying to your girlfriend while your uncle regularly makes you his slampiece. Nice move.

My dad has been cheating on my mom with his secretary for 22 years. TFM.
–Washington

This…is not something to be proud of.

Raging with 16 packs of 4 Loko and Monster and taking your shirt off to show girls how fucking shredded your abs are. TFM.
–Texas

I hope you get struck by lightning.

Intern you better fucking post this or I will shit in your mouth while you sleep. Taylor Chatley needs to know I love her and I will suck her toes clean every single night for the rest of her magnificent fucking life. TFM.
–California

Sending your IP address to the FBI.


“Hey bro, there aren’t any girls dancing in the cage. Let’s get in there and strut our stuff!”


You want to buy tickets to the gun show?


I really wish I’d seen this live.


Tanning and working on the swing. This is multitasking at its finest.


GET FUCKING RIPPED!

No self respecting fraternity man sings Monica’s “Angel Of Mine” on American Idol:

    2. Micheal Vick

      TqueerM and come on call it a fraternity, be respectful on national tv. also nice fuseball table

      13 years ago at 6:01 pm
    3. ThinkThereforeFRAT

      I dunno if I would call two rock stars and Jennifer Lopez’s response as a “fail.” It would have been hilarious if he sucked. But c’mon, frat culture succeeding over geeds is not a fail. It could be a “business as usual move” but not a fail.

      We all have weird guys in our chapter, but how many of those guys have that kind of skill?

      Plus it’s California, you can only expect so much.

      13 years ago at 10:08 pm
    4. fratting in my camo

      Think, just the way he described his “frat” is a fail. Someone obviously didn’t learn anything pledge term (Before you take that as against you, it’s against the dumb kid in the video).

      13 years ago at 8:43 am
    5. proud to be tEXan

      And who introduces themselves as being a student in a fraternity? Someone is way too happy that they actually got a bid.

      13 years ago at 10:42 am
    6. Daisy Buchanan

      This. ” I’m a student at UC Berkeley, and I am in a FRATERNITY! at UC Berkeley. “

      13 years ago at 10:54 pm
    8. Casey Franthony

      That kid might of been gayer than a sack of dicks, but he had some chops.

      13 years ago at 3:37 pm
    11. BurntOrange

      ^this. how did that geed get a bid? Wait.. it’s California. They all look geedy as fuck.

      13 years ago at 1:53 pm
    3. FaFTexas

      Is this the meeting place for guys taking a shit? It is!? Cool, looks like I’m in the right place then!

      13 years ago at 5:33 pm
    1. Creedence Fratwater

      TFM Pledge has been in timeout for his mediocre Fail Friday last week, and is likely headed back in the corner.

      13 years ago at 6:18 pm
    6. Jerry Fratdusky

      Three decades of touching boys created Pi Kappa Alpha.

      You’re welcome Gentlemen.

      13 years ago at 7:06 pm
    9. Pi Kappa Alpha Dog

      GREAT turn out. I don’t know how anybody on this site doesn’t get a huge kick out of a fail friday picture from their fraternity. As long as it’s not my chapter I could give a fuck. The rest of this stuff is hilarious.

      13 years ago at 12:05 am
    11. William Fratterman

      Actually knowing who that Pike is at VCU makes this picture so much funnier.

      13 years ago at 1:36 am
    12. Really

      PI Kappa Alpha Dog,

      Just stop. Unless you are from one of the single letter chapters, you can go to hell as well. And even then, you might be from one of the godforsaken majority of shitty chapters. Excuse me while I tell a pledge to jump off a bridge.

      13 years ago at 3:39 am
    1. Frat Blue Ribbon

      The fact that guy is in a fraternity makes him more frat than most people on this website

      13 years ago at 5:59 pm
  9. Paul Bear Bryant

    You should take a screenshot of this entire column and make it a picture on next week’s edition. This is one of the worst Fail Fridays I have ever seen. Everyone who was involved with this please take your laps, and then report to the hazement.

    13 years ago at 4:55 pm
    1. Paul Bear Bryant

      Not a pike by the way, this is just extremely unfunny.I feel like I’m watching Katt Williams.

      13 years ago at 4:57 pm
    9. James Frank Hopkins

      Katt Williams isn’t funny because it’s too hard to even understand what that n.igger is saying. Freeto, where are you going spring break?

      13 years ago at 7:18 pm

    12. James Frank Hopkins, might be going home, might be going to Vegas, might stay around here, you going to be home?

      13 years ago at 3:24 pm
    13. Paul Bear Bryant

      Success, you should also report to the hazement. The Bear has a pile of cornflakes and a spot on the wall with your name on it.

      13 years ago at 1:00 am
    14. James Frank Hopkins

      Freeto, one of ND’s pledge brothers owns a condo on the top floor in panama city so a few of us are going there along with some girls from Kennesaw and Tennessee. You should check it out

      13 years ago at 4:26 pm
    5. ThinkThereforeFRAT

      I like KA, but there just isn’t any chance of them being good in the last state anyone would accuse of having Southern tendencies. So by default they have to take some less than par pledges. And when their crappy chapters’ “fail” is impressing rockstars, that’s still pretty good.

      13 years ago at 11:06 pm