Memorial Day For The Right Reasons

Memorial Day is one of the most patriotic days of the year. All across America, people celebrate it by coming together and getting as wasted as possible. It’s a day when you can wander around screaming “America, Fuck Yeah!” and everyone will cheer for you. Every day should be like Memorial Day, but sadly it’s not. As the debauchery of Memorial Day Weekend comes to a close, try to remember the reason for its existence. Try to remember that it’s a day for honoring the fallen soldiers who have given their lives for this indescribably great nation.

People these days take war too lightly. Maybe it’s the movies and video games that have desensitized us to it, maybe it’s the fluoride in our water, or maybe it’s just all the drugs. People have a romanticized notion of war that is not a reflection of reality. Now don’t get me wrong, I love war more than most people, but in the back of my mind I always remember that war is not awesome. War is fucking terrible. It’s only awesome for people who are privileged enough to watch it from the luxury of a TV screen. War is fucking hell and if it doesn’t kill a person, it fucks them up in the head for life. Granted, there is a small minority of soldiers who actually do get boners from murder. Explosions with naked mangled corpses flying everywhere are hilarious to these people. Pain and death don’t mean shit to them. Fuckin’ Awesome. God bless those psychopaths. I’m glad they are on my side. For the large majority of others though, war is terrifying and traumatizing. They are fathers, sons, brothers, and lovers. They’ve got everything to lose and their loved ones won’t be there with them if they die a miserable death in some shithole country half way around the world. I wish peace was an option, but unfortunately there are a lot of really shitty people in the world. The only way to deal with some of these shitty people is to kill them. War is a necessary evil that must be exercised from time to time to purify the streams of freedom.

So this Memorial Day remember all of those who marched blindly into the depths of hell for you. Don’t just party because it’s an excuse to party. Party because you are alive and fucking free. Remember that you are free because of the hundreds of millions of Americans who have shed blood for you at war. Party for their legacy. Party for the world that exists because of their sacrifice. Drink for all soldiers who died in the trenches, jungles, and deserts all around the world. Drink for their mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, grandchildren, and friends who are left wanting without them.

This is not a day of party politics. It’s not about Democrap or Republicunt bullshit. This is a day honoring the men who died for America, regardless of which stupid party was in power. Soldiers don’t have the luxury of politics when war knocks on the doorstep. They do what they are told because it’s their duty. They do whatever America needs them to do, even if it means certain death.

This day is about soldiers, both alive and dead. This day is a reminder that peace is not a reality. It is an ideal that must be fought for again and again. This day is about all the warriors, all the freedom fighters, who decided that America is an idea that is worth dying for. I believe, as they did, that freedom is worth fighting for. So raise your glass to those warriors who were worthy enough to prove to us that talk is cheap.

Rest in Peace ye fallen heroes and know that your sacrifice was not in vain. Today we drink to celebrate you, not to mourn. Today we embrace our fellow Americans and scream “This is America, goddamnit! We are alive, we are free, and we live in the greatest fucking nation on God’s green Earth!”

…And we owe it all to you.

    1. TKEpledge

      That brings a huge smile to my face. However, I kind of wish It didn’t. What happened to this stuff staying under wraps so we could surprise them with our giant dick of freedom in their faces?

      12 years ago at 6:00 pm
    2. TKEpledge

      Also, i love how most North Koreans are starving, although we send tons of food. where’s that food going? Oh, your tubby fatass “leader” is eating it all.

      12 years ago at 6:01 pm
      1. PIKEpledge

        Talk about priorities. Putting all the money into a military that is not even strong in relation to ours instead of feeding your own people is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard.

        12 years ago at 6:48 pm
    3. OnlySperrys

      TKEpledge… We no longer send food there. We refuse to help since they still have nuclear weapons.

      12 years ago at 7:25 pm
    4. Jerry Fratdusky

      We just stopped sending them food because they decided to try and launch their “satellite”.

      And TKEPledge, there’s a lot of stuff they’re still keeping under wraps. What that General did was taunt them, and it’s working. NK will probably implode by the end of this year.

      12 years ago at 8:00 am
    1. TejasMorchPonkey

      I would say “valid effort”, but, well just look at yourself. Take a long, hard look in the mirror, and then step back and FUCK YOUR OWN FACE

      12 years ago at 6:22 pm
  1. TKEpledge

    I read this with Taps playing in the background, and it almost brought a tear to my eye. God bless all you out there who protect our freedom, and here’s to always picking up the tab when you see a soldier at the bar.

    12 years ago at 5:33 pm
    1. PhrattyPrep

      Cheers, pledge. Picking up the tab is chill. Buying another round TFM. Sharing a bottle of Maker’s 46 FAF.

      12 years ago at 5:49 pm
    1. Titleist_BroV1x

      Absolutely. Way to give us all a reminder about what Memorial Day is all about. God Bless America and every soldier, past and present.

      12 years ago at 10:55 pm
  2. Cupid

    My rash is more interesting then Dorns secret sex life with bananas ice cream bagels whipped bacon aids.

    12 years ago at 5:37 pm
    1. ice cold frat

      Though this is not a Dorn column, I agree that every day is a “fuck Dorn” day and every page on this site is a “fuck Dorn” page. Fuck Dorn.

      12 years ago at 5:40 pm
    2. anon7472974648

      Some people, like Cupid, have a way with words, and other people, uh, not have way.

      12 years ago at 5:43 pm