The Greatest Movie Scene Of All Time

Today is Throwback Thursday, and this is the greatest movie scene of all time:

Let’s break this down…

Colleen, a hot babe, is jogging down the beach with a dude wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a blue banana-hammock speedo. He is carrying a frisbee and rocking a satchel. They stop when they come across an armed guard standing near the tree line wearing a button-down and khakis. Colleen peels off her shirt to reveal her chest cannons.

The guard addresses her, “Hey Colleen, who’s that turkey with you?” Colleen informs the guard, “He’s just a thrower.” The guard has some bad news for The Thrower: “Sorry buster, you ain’t allowed here. Take off.” Oh snap.

That’s when shit starts to get real. “Hey lighten up, we’re just throwing,” says The Thrower. But the guard isn’t buying it. He doesn’t think The Thrower can throw, and says, “Oh yeah? Let’s see you throw one.”

He tosses the frisbee to the guard, who snatches it with both hands and then pulls a one-hand-up-and-under-the-leg-catch-with-the-same-hand move before chunking it back. They go back and forth one more time, and then the guard thinks, “I’ve got to set down my giant fucking Uzi to show this poser how it’s done.”

The Thrower seizes this opportunity to tell Colleen to fuck off so he can get down to business. When she resists he flashes his satchel pistol and tosses the frisbee down the beach so she’ll fetch it like a dog. That’s when he catches a glimpse of her backside.

“Hey Colleen. You’ve got a great ass,” says The Thrower.

“So do you pilgrim,” Colleen flirts back.

Then it’s time to do frisbee battle.

“You don’t look so hot to me,” The Thrower says to the guard as he pulls a backup black frisbee from his satchel and tosses it.

“Oh yeah? See if you can catch this,” says the guard.

The Thrower does catch it, and then switches it out with yet another frisbee from his satchel that has razor blades jutting out all over.

The next thing you know there’s a slow motion frisbee throw that goes straight through the fingers of the guard and into his neck, blood shoots everywhere while he lets out loud dying groaning noises, and BAM…it’s the greatest movie scene of all time.

I will personally be watching Hard Ticket to Hawaii in its entirety this weekend.

    1. TheFrattersonEpisode

      Apparently to recount to us exactly what happened in the clip. The only useful words in the entire column were “chest cannons.”

      12 years ago at 12:05 pm
    2. Blackball Bill

      If you have a friend that’s visually impaired you can read the breakdown to them aloud, you selfish fuck.

      12 years ago at 12:07 pm
    3. D_Whitman

      What’s the point of most of the columns these days? If it’s not something like this it’s some sort of stupid fucking list. You are right, though. This is probably the most pointless of them all.

      12 years ago at 12:07 pm
  1. TheFrattersonEpisode

    This is weak. No analysis, no interpretation. Haven’t you learned in college that a review is not simply a summary of the plot?

    12 years ago at 12:08 pm
    1. Joran van der Frat

      ^^ I didn’t learn that in college because I’m not a film major. Have fun working at Starbucks after graduation.

      12 years ago at 4:07 pm
    2. TheFrattersonEpisode

      ^^ It is unfortunate that you did not learn to apply skills to other disciplines at community college.

      12 years ago at 9:25 pm
  2. Emerisonian

    I kept waiting for TFM Khaki guard to say “Catch these” while shooting the GDI. Only in uber-fake movies could a GDI possibly win. The only way this could’ve been worse is if the GDI thrower longboarded away

    12 years ago at 12:32 pm