Study Shows Collegiate LAXers Use Drugs, but Graduate

The NCAA recently conducted a survey that revealed lacrosse players were the most frequent drug users among collegiate athletes. Drugs most commonly listed in LAX social circles include: amphetamines, anabolic steroids, cocaine, marijuana and narcotics. Well-to-do college kids like to have a good time. This is not a shocking revelation.

The study also shows that 95.0% of these guys regularly indulge in Grandpa’s old cough medicine, only edged out by hockey players at 95.5%. College golfers sit in 3rd place at a very respectable 90.9%. You can imagine the constant verbal thrashing those 4.5% of alcohol-free hockey players experience.

The NCAA also released graduation rates by sport, in which lacrosse players rated the highest. There you have it. So, what do we take away from this? Is there a direct correlation between drug use and academic success? Don’t take it that far, kids. And the next time Mom goes off about how drugs will ruin your life, please don’t reference this news story and try to disprove her little spiel. Drugs suck. Don’t do them.

    1. bud light fratinum

      rule of thumb, dont use a period for a two word phrase. makes you look like a geed

      12 years ago at 10:33 pm
    1. Frat Phil

      Totally, this one just sent me over the ledge. But seriously Hoosier, get a fucking life, loser.

      12 years ago at 2:35 pm
  1. TrickleDown

    The reason laxers have the highest graduation rate has nothing to do with drugs/sports. They’re the most white, so they don’t have affirmative action pulling them down. The basketball teams tend to be a little more “enriched” if you will.

    12 years ago at 2:56 pm