Warren Sapp is Now a TV Judge… On the Internet
12 years ago

Somehow I manage to stay out of debt. It’s not easy. I work 55 hours a week while completing my last 3 hours of Vietnam history online. I have to eat a lot of PB&Js (which incidentally is the most common “J” you’ll get when living just above the poverty line), but I get it done.

Every time I hear about somebody like Warren Sapp filing for bankruptcy I have to scratch my head a little bit. The guy has signed not one but two 6 year 36 million dollar contracts in his career. Where the hell does all of that money go? My guess is the usual alimony, divorce, unpaid property taxes, etc. along with your standard “I don’t know how to be rich” purchases like panda skin rugs, experimental speech therapy at a mountain top medical facility high in the Swiss Alps, and an ungodly amount of Church’s Chicken.

Now that his Chapter 7 is filed let the post-celebrity-bankruptcy water treading begin for Warren Sapp. Warren’s first post-bankruptcy move to keep his head above water is to become a TV judge. Not a Randy Jackson style judge either, a Judge Judy “judge.” Although to be fair Judge Judy was at least syndicated on television. Warren Sapp’s new judge show will premiering on YouTube. THANK YOU GOD. An uncensored small claims court show on the internet? Yes please. And who would you rather see dole out punishment to LaQuafawnda for borrowing Lorenzo’s car without permission than the llama tongued sack master himself? No one, that’s who.