The Home of the Brave
Today has dawned, the morning of the greatest day of every American year. It’s a tough morning to arise, as the dawn’s early light blinds your heavy eyelids, awaking the hangover monster in your sophisticated brains. It would be easy to chug some water, pop one or ten ibuprofens, and sleep until dinner. Any other morning this would be a normal and expected reaction, but today is not any other morning. Today we rise as Americans, ready to celebrate our great country’s 236th birthday, another year of world dominance, and sweet, sweet freedom. Before you reach for that ice cold Ameri-can, take a second. Stretch your tired limbs and breathe in deep. Today is a good day for an uncountable number of reasons. As we all begin to indulge in the bottle of golden-brown, nectar-like bourbon, slowly begin to slide on our Back-to-Back World War Champ tees, and turn up the grill, it is vital that we not forget to reflect on the reasons why we have these privileges in the first place.
236 years seems like an eternity ago as our founding fathers signed their names onto that parchment that set the stage for the most successful country in the history of mankind. While compared to the rest of the civilized world, America is just in its adolescence, but the historic strides that form the foundation of this land have literally shaken this earth, forever changing the way that humans live and setting a standard of living. The journey has been far from easy, and at the lowest of lows the future of America has hung in the balance between annihilation and the point of barely hanging on. We’ve had our internal scraps, devastating financial crises, and atomic weapons pointed right down our throats. It took men of valor and unwavering courage to stand their God-given ground to ensure that their families had a long bright life to enjoy. America’s history is stained with the blood of sacrifice and honor from men who believed in something higher, and because of these men, we now are able to capitalize and build on their past achievements.
Grandpa’s war stories may seem like relics of the past, however inspiring they be, but even to this day America is still going balls to the wall to continue the proud tradition that generations before began. Accomplishments such as those of SEAL Team 6 vividly exemplify that no matter how many innocent American lives you take through means of terrorism, we WILL find you and we WILL hold you to justice, no matter how long it takes. In the year of 2012 alone, 125 US soldiers have laid down their lives in hostile action to uphold the beliefs that have held this nation together through even the most trying of times.
Today is greater than any individual. Today is so much more than the wildest drunken escapade that you will accomplish. Yes, it is a time to cut loose and celebrate, but never, ever forget why you are celebrating. Look beyond yourselves today gentlemen, and give credit where credit is due. Tell your parents how much you appreciate what they’ve done for you. Call up a relative who has served in the armed forces, or better yet buy a round for the veterans at the bar. To my fellow Texans, lower the Lone Star just a little bit to give Old Glory its respectful place to wave in the wind. Respectfully shake a GDI’s hand who doesn’t know why the fuck he is celebrating American Independence Day and wish him an awesome holiday. Toast a drink for all of the soldiers who aren’t with us anymore to enjoy this fine day. Finally, and most importantly, thank God our Father for the blessing of living in a free country. Live life to the fullest today, men. Today is meant for the greatest celebration of the year for a damn good reason. I hope you all have a 4th of July to remember. See you on the other side.
FIRST
12 years ago at 8:34 pmIn the smallest penis contest.
12 years ago at 11:39 pmHaha, got ’em. On a more important note, well written piece. Where the fuck did jack sperry come from?
12 years ago at 2:48 am236 isin’t that long in the grad scheme.. But about the whole shaking the clueless GDI’s hand thing…….
12 years ago at 11:14 amVery well written. It’s nice to see it put in perspective
12 years ago at 8:49 pmI agree, I’ve been around the world but this will always be my home and it’s the best country on earth. Here’s to the next 236 years and Obama not being President in 2013.
12 years ago at 8:55 pm^This.
12 years ago at 2:24 pmThis is a GREAT article, but I would have liked to have have read it this morning BEFORE I raged all day. It would’ve been quite the pre game speech.
12 years ago at 9:07 pmThis right here ^
12 years ago at 11:52 pmBlame the intern, I submitted this the night before.
12 years ago at 2:35 amFuck the Intern. Seriously, Sperry. I know you already have you pencil sharpener.
12 years ago at 2:49 amAgreed, incredibly well-written article. I wouldn’t mind if Jack Sperry wrote more of these
12 years ago at 9:11 amI got the biggest patriotic boner right now.
12 years ago at 9:14 pmOne that only Kate Upton can satisfy?
12 years ago at 11:33 pm^ Lady Liberty herself.
12 years ago at 9:16 amIt’s day like today that i stop and think to myself… “fuck it would suck to not live in America…” Cheers boys
12 years ago at 9:35 pmAmen. Hail the red white and blue.
12 years ago at 9:36 pmWeird feeling knowing the odds favor that you’d be born in China instead of the US. We’re the lucky ones.
12 years ago at 9:55 pmGreat column. USA! USA! USA!
12 years ago at 10:01 pmEverybody join in! T-K-E! T-K-E! T-K-E!
12 years ago at 10:02 pmIs TKE really good at your school or something? Is this jealousy or mockery? Because you’re putting a lot of effort into it.
12 years ago at 10:33 pm^ It’s people like this that point to the necessity of cutting off new users signing up for TFM.
12 years ago at 1:53 amI’ve been on this site for 2 years. You’re a dumbass.
12 years ago at 12:42 pmI fucking love this country
12 years ago at 10:04 pmHey me too!
12 years ago at 4:08 amIntern, you can change the TSM side’s background tomorrow, but just go ahead and leave the Flags on TFM forever.
12 years ago at 10:12 pmI wouldn’t mind.
12 years ago at 10:32 pmAgreed.
12 years ago at 9:03 amLoved the article. Well written and it mentioned something a lot of people tend to forget – instead of getting hammered, thank those who risked their lives for this great country and then get hammered with them
12 years ago at 11:53 pmAmen.
12 years ago at 1:03 amIF YOU FORGET ABOUT SACRIFICE ITS OKAY BUT JUST DONT FORGET ABOUT LIL B BECAUSE YOU MIGHT NOT BE A POSITIVE PERSON WITHOUT LIL B MUSIC – Lil B
12 years ago at 3:50 amWho gave this guy a bid?
12 years ago at 6:09 am^^In my travels, I hope I find this so-called, ‘Lil B’. I will make sure I am belligerently drunk on cheap whiskey, and from there, I will cut off his nuts, blend them with his shit music, then feed him his nut/shit-music shake.
12 years ago at 8:38 am