Chipper Jones is Drunk Tweeting
The People’s Champ figured out how to use that new Twitter machine, which is amazing considering he was finally able to do it while completely hammered. It looks like he’s still hammered, too. If anyone has their drunk Twitter decoder ring handy, please use it to decipher Chipper’s tweet and post it in the comments.
This is Chipper’s 4th ever tweet:
Make sure to follow @RealCJ10 for more hilarity. With his retirement only a couple months away, he’ll have plenty more time to pound Bud Heavy and light up your Twitter feed with gold like this.
Reminds me of “jive” from Airplane, good shit
12 years ago at 4:43 pmOh stewardess! I speak jive.
12 years ago at 8:20 pmHe seems pretty Chipperafter the win
12 years ago at 4:46 pmChipper jones, that is!
12 years ago at 9:15 pmMichael Bourn and Heyward went yard today while Chipper was sitting back getting plastered on his day off. Brush up on your drunk talk Dorn!
12 years ago at 4:57 pmWhat’s mammo? And who’s roadrunner?
12 years ago at 5:01 pmThe roadrunner is Bourn. I’m gussing Mammo is him going yard in drunk chipper talk?
12 years ago at 5:05 pmThat’s my take on it at least.
12 years ago at 5:06 pmRoadrunner could also be Juan Franscisco who also hit a homerun today. The nickname could be making fun of him for being so slow.
12 years ago at 5:35 pmRoadrunner is indeed Francisco. “mammo” is a shortening of “mammoth” as in he hit a mammo (mammoth) home run.
12 years ago at 7:33 pmNo mammo is showing speed, nice try fat fuck.
12 years ago at 10:11 pm^ No, “mammo” does mean mammoth. How the hell can you take a sentence “Roadrunner went mammo,” and get speed out of that. Plus, Francisco hit a huge homer today. I feel like laps are in order.
12 years ago at 11:02 pmHe explains the terminology himself in a later tweet, jackasses.
12 years ago at 8:58 amHey, Lynchem. From someone playing ball in college, go fuck yourself.
12 years ago at 4:31 pmNot positive, but I believe that the official Braves twitter account said a few days ago that this was a parody account
12 years ago at 5:02 pmAtlanta Braves @Braves 24 Jul
12 years ago at 5:09 pmIt has happened! Chipper Jones is on Twitter: @RealCJ10 We are working on getting it verified by it’s official.
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It really is him. He said so
12 years ago at 5:39 pmYou aren’t allowed to lie on the internet.
12 years ago at 5:53 pmGood thing you aren’t allowed to lie on the internet or else there would be a lot of people from this site getting in trouble
12 years ago at 6:16 pm^ That’s like that time i was talking with my new friend stevey in a chat room. I came over to play cops and robbers, and what do you know my favorite tv personality Chris Hansen was there. He asked me why I needed a handle of vodka, rope, lube, and assless chaps to play cops and robbers. I told him because I don’t use condoms silly! Then he told me I was free to go, but I said I still wanted to play with stevey. I did end up having anal intercourse, but it was behind bars with a well-endowed afro-american. Boy I wished I had that lube then.
12 years ago at 10:53 pm^ TotalSanduskyMove.
12 years ago at 4:23 amSlow day in Frat Times News Paper… A baseball player drinking on his day off, fucking shocking!
12 years ago at 8:21 pmYou’re so fucking cool, bro.
12 years ago at 9:18 pmHe was not drunk at all. Going yicketty= going yard, (home run). Going mammo, showing speed on the bases stealing bags, stretching a double into a triple.Wow I feel bad how unathletic and real sport deprived y’all are.
12 years ago at 10:11 pmYou sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth.
12 years ago at 10:26 pmI believe what you are hearing is his accent? He is French, oui?
12 years ago at 4:17 amFormula uhhhhh
12 years ago at 6:15 amLynchem, you couldn’t be more wrong. Chipper even explained himself.
“yicketty means homer! mammo means big bomb. roadrunner is francisco. any other questions?”
I feel bad for how unathletic and real sport deprived you are.
12 years ago at 12:49 pmChipper Jones @RealCJ10
12 years ago at 4:09 amyicketty means homer! mammo means big bomb. roadrunner is francisco. any other questions?
Mammo means hitting a homerun. Going mammo, going yard, bomb squard… there’s lots of little gay nicknames for it.
12 years ago at 9:41 amYack.. never heard of yickety but i’m sure that’s some form of going yack.
12 years ago at 9:42 am