Sometimes we let our cats outside and they just sit in our front yard. We have one cat that hasn’t come back in a few days, but it’s fine because we don’t have any tags on them so if anyone sees it pooping in their garden there’s no way to trace it back to us. We used to have a bunch of big dogs, but one time they got out and chewed up a horse, and they HAD tags so we had to pay for the damage. Pet ownership is a two edged sword.
On the one hand, you get the enjoyment of constant relatively low-maintenance companionship, barring you don’t have an absurd animal like a tiger or a leopard or a baboon, at which point the maintenance would be quite high, I imagine. Though, on the other hand, animals have no ability to reason, and if your dog bites a kid, you’re probably in pretty deep legal trouble, at least as far as liability and civil suits go. I always wondered why they called them ‘lawsuits’. Being a lawyer must be the only profession where what you deal with and what you wear are the same thing.
I don’t think anyone in my family is a lawyer, no one living at least. I’ve considered going that direction, but I think it would just get too boring. Depending on the type of law, of course, but how many times could you seriously see yourself reading legal documents meticulously before you killed yourself trying to masturbate while flying a personal aircraft at extremely low altitude over a nude beach? Probably quite a few times. Even so, you understand what I’m saying. I do feel bad for those kids who want to grow up to be astronauts. What does that say about Earth if little kids fantasize about getting jobs outside of our atmosphere?
You ever hear about those new privatized trips into space? I personally don’t see the appeal, but I guess some people are just so rich that there is literally nothing on this Earth that they want, so the only logical evolution is into space. That would be kind of miserable though, if that were even remotely true. It reminds me of those animals they sent into space. They sound like cute pioneers at first, but then you think about them dying lonely and scared in a big empty tube somewhere miles from safety. It kind of loses its luster right about there. That’s another thing about pet ownership, if your pet every wants to go into space, you might have to deal with an awkward discussion about how that process actually works. On one hand, you don’t really want to crush your pet’s dreams, but on the other hand, you can’t just send it to die alone in a vast empty abyss. You especially wouldn’t want it to change it’s mind halfway there. What a heartbreaking phone call that would be.
Do people even own home phones anymore? I know we have since disconnected ours. Never again will anyone have to call and figure out who they’re speaking to, they don’t have a choice but to call exactly who they’re trying to reach. Cell phones are kind of odd when you think about it. It’s like someone can throw a spear an unlimited distance and it hits you right in the brain. That spear, of course, being full of information, and your brain being a function interpreting that information as displayed on the phone. Cell phones have brought about a certain vulnerability in uninhibited access to anyone with the touch of a button. Sure, we all have the option to ignore attempts at communication, but we’re forced to look at our phones for at least a second to figure out who’s trying to get in touch with us. I wouldn’t want my pets to have cell phones. Well, only if they told me when they puked on my clothes. That way I wouldn’t have to accidentally discover cat vomit, they could just call me right afterward. I’d know which one not to feed, too. Quick tip about pet ownership, feeding your animals less often decreases the likelihood that they will vomit in the dryer.
I’d feel awful if I ever put one of my cats in the dryer and turned it on. I probably wouldn’t at the time, seeing as I would probably justify my action by assuring myself that this was the only fitting punishment, but afterward I would feel terrible. What if it came out and its eyes dried up and fell out, and it was just blind, meowing miserably and clawing at its vacant sockets? Or what if it got sick and puked on my clothes again? Then I’d have to do the whole batch of laundry over again, potentially throwing the cat in with the second dryer cycle as well. Owning pets can really be a wild ride if you’re not careful!
Delaware coming in hot.
13 years ago at 8:39 pmI don’t know how things are in Delaware, but here in buckleytown our courses dont keep track of how many balls you lose
13 years ago at 8:54 pm^
13 years ago at 9:20 amTGM wall is all this is.
13 years ago at 9:01 pmI do that too.
13 years ago at 9:20 pm^
13 years ago at 1:41 pmSometimes we let our cats outside and they just sit in our front yard. We have one cat that hasn’t come back in a few days, but it’s fine because we don’t have any tags on them so if anyone sees it pooping in their garden there’s no way to trace it back to us. We used to have a bunch of big dogs, but one time they got out and chewed up a horse, and they HAD tags so we had to pay for the damage. Pet ownership is a two edged sword.
On the one hand, you get the enjoyment of constant relatively low-maintenance companionship, barring you don’t have an absurd animal like a tiger or a leopard or a baboon, at which point the maintenance would be quite high, I imagine. Though, on the other hand, animals have no ability to reason, and if your dog bites a kid, you’re probably in pretty deep legal trouble, at least as far as liability and civil suits go. I always wondered why they called them ‘lawsuits’. Being a lawyer must be the only profession where what you deal with and what you wear are the same thing.
I don’t think anyone in my family is a lawyer, no one living at least. I’ve considered going that direction, but I think it would just get too boring. Depending on the type of law, of course, but how many times could you seriously see yourself reading legal documents meticulously before you killed yourself trying to masturbate while flying a personal aircraft at extremely low altitude over a nude beach? Probably quite a few times. Even so, you understand what I’m saying. I do feel bad for those kids who want to grow up to be astronauts. What does that say about Earth if little kids fantasize about getting jobs outside of our atmosphere?
You ever hear about those new privatized trips into space? I personally don’t see the appeal, but I guess some people are just so rich that there is literally nothing on this Earth that they want, so the only logical evolution is into space. That would be kind of miserable though, if that were even remotely true. It reminds me of those animals they sent into space. They sound like cute pioneers at first, but then you think about them dying lonely and scared in a big empty tube somewhere miles from safety. It kind of loses its luster right about there. That’s another thing about pet ownership, if your pet every wants to go into space, you might have to deal with an awkward discussion about how that process actually works. On one hand, you don’t really want to crush your pet’s dreams, but on the other hand, you can’t just send it to die alone in a vast empty abyss. You especially wouldn’t want it to change it’s mind halfway there. What a heartbreaking phone call that would be.
Do people even own home phones anymore? I know we have since disconnected ours. Never again will anyone have to call and figure out who they’re speaking to, they don’t have a choice but to call exactly who they’re trying to reach. Cell phones are kind of odd when you think about it. It’s like someone can throw a spear an unlimited distance and it hits you right in the brain. That spear, of course, being full of information, and your brain being a function interpreting that information as displayed on the phone. Cell phones have brought about a certain vulnerability in uninhibited access to anyone with the touch of a button. Sure, we all have the option to ignore attempts at communication, but we’re forced to look at our phones for at least a second to figure out who’s trying to get in touch with us. I wouldn’t want my pets to have cell phones. Well, only if they told me when they puked on my clothes. That way I wouldn’t have to accidentally discover cat vomit, they could just call me right afterward. I’d know which one not to feed, too. Quick tip about pet ownership, feeding your animals less often decreases the likelihood that they will vomit in the dryer.
I’d feel awful if I ever put one of my cats in the dryer and turned it on. I probably wouldn’t at the time, seeing as I would probably justify my action by assuring myself that this was the only fitting punishment, but afterward I would feel terrible. What if it came out and its eyes dried up and fell out, and it was just blind, meowing miserably and clawing at its vacant sockets? Or what if it got sick and puked on my clothes again? Then I’d have to do the whole batch of laundry over again, potentially throwing the cat in with the second dryer cycle as well. Owning pets can really be a wild ride if you’re not careful!
13 years ago at 2:25 amHey big boy slow your roll, you are scaring the children.
13 years ago at 2:34 amSounds like you should try a bit harder, I don’t think anybody is convinced that you’re good at golf yet.
13 years ago at 9:22 am