Republicans Are Big Fans of Privatized Dances
12 years ago

Hearing that rich old white guys love strippers is a lot like hearing that it’s hot in the summertime. It’s obvious, and when people remind you about it you get annoyed because you’re trying to enjoy your summer/strip club experience despite the heat/creepy strangers with boners who are an arm’s length away.

So obviously it makes sense that GOP members, young and old, are excellent strip club customers. How good of customers are they? Good enough to have every major strip club in the greater Tampa Bay area seriously preparing for the 2012 Republican National Convention. It’s a good time to be a pole greaser in Tampa Bay.

As Tampa gears up for the Republican National Convention, the biggest party it has ever held, the city and its businesses are primping and polishing for the August arrival of tens of thousands of visitors. Like it or not — mostly not, for city officials — Tampa’s well-known strip clubs have joined the welcome wagon.

Club owners here say they have schmoozed with their counterparts in former host cities, like Denver, and have been told that revenue pours in during conventions, sometimes quadrupling earnings from a Super Bowl week.

It does not surprise me one bit that political conventions bring more money to strip clubs than Super Bowls. I mean yeah there are a lot of high rollers and rich guys attending the Super Bowl, but the best customers are busy preparing for a championship. I imagine that at political conventions, even after a good day, all you’d want to do is blow off steam.

Denver, if you’ll recall, was where the last Democratic National Convention was held. So does that mean that both Democrats and Republicans are great strip club customers? Nope, not even close, not even when John Edwards was still invited to DNCs.

Angelina Spencer, the executive director of the Association of Club Executives, which serves as a trade association for strip clubs, said an informal survey of convention business in New York and Denver had determined that Republicans dropped more money at clubs, by far.

“Hands down, it was Republicans,” she said. “The average was $150 for Republicans and $50 for Democrats.”

The difference is a hundred dollars!? Is that counting rappers? Well done GOP. That is a dominant victory, and it is a victory. If someone told me I was the best customer at a strip club I’d wear it as a badge of honor. Unfortunately I’m usually disqualified from that title for throwing rolls of quarters at the strippers. Ten dollars is ten dollars, dammit! If I was throwing a couple Hamiltons up there they’d be ecstatic. Hypocrites.

This news is enough to make me want road trip it to Tampa for the RNC. Whoever snags a picture of themselves wearing a “Mitt’s the Tits” t-shirt in a Tampa strip club during the RNC wins a prize. Seriously. I just decided that.

[h/t to FratchesterCountyNY]

    1. Brahhhhh

      People shouldn’t even be allowed to have this much wealth. Everything over $250,000 should be confiscated and distributed to our starving and needy american population here at home! Yall ass holes on this site the problem, hating on ‘upper-middle class’ as being poor like you already have to much, just wait Obama will win and we’ll see how many of yall stuck ups are still left acting like this afterwards.

      12 years ago at 8:32 pm
    2. yourfavgeed

      ^ when I troll, I like to lead off with a joke. You know, like “haha, hehe.” More people will like you.

      Friendly advice.

      12 years ago at 8:40 pm
    3. I am drot nunk

      Ok, “brah” first you know jack-shit about politics. Second, get the fuck off this site you socialist hippy. Third, I don’t mean to sound weird, but ever since I started follow politics (Clinton’s last term), I have always, ALWAYS called the president correct, yes that even includes Obama. I have a hunch for these things. The way things are looking, Obama is NOT going to win. Fourth and finally, get a job, work your way up, and go to school. I was working in a god damn pizza parlor for 3 years of my adolescent life, I used that money to pay my dues because my parents taught me something called work ethic. I now work as an intern for a banking firm because I took the opportunity on my campus to go out and seek summer jobs. I built my resume and now it looks like I’m going somewhere. I am NOT from Old Money. My parents made their way up to the upper class the hard way. Yes, wealth travels in my family because we EARNED it. So kindly fuck yourself and have a nice day.

      12 years ago at 8:51 pm
    4. Frathens_Brohio

      @not drunk i am in the same boat as you. im working 16 hour days to pay for college. my parents are millionares teaching me correct valures. @brah you do a great job describing the people i hate

      12 years ago at 9:02 pm
    5. Brahhhhh

      ^^ There is a storm coming, make no mistake a revised tax schedule/code will be at the forefront. Yall will pay the American public for the ill-gotten gains of your ‘banking firm’, as well as the subsequent bailout which support your overtly ‘lavish’ lifestyles. While you may have worked your way into ‘new money’, your banking brethren cheated, lied, and robbed their ways into it. It will be the class that supports arrogant content such as the top video on this site which shall rightfully pay for it.

      12 years ago at 9:33 pm
    9. BossMan DubC

      “Brahh” – First off, Fuck you. Second, you are the reason I despise being the age group of the ‘Millennial Generation’. I hate being classified and grouped into the same cesspool that you inhabit so gladly. Yes, Obamas policy’s are good, if you are at a liberal arts college and you love theory’s about how to make the world a better place, but quite simply I will be voting for Mitt because of the complete and total lack of leadership that Obama has over the legislative branch. Oh, and don’t give me that bullshit about “oh, I am a thinker. I am a bohemian lifestyle and I am a part of a greater movement!” Please, The Hippie counter-culture was actually against something, you however and your legion of moronic hypocrites who protest excess while living off of your parents money are no better than a leech, feeding off of other peoples hard work and greedy for the charity of others. My advice is to grow a backbone, actually listen to some of the satire of comedy sites like this and read between the lines. WE ARE LAUGHING AT YOUR STUPIDITY AND RELUCTANCE TO BE A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY. I agree whole-heartedly with Not Drunk in that I support whatever direction that the president chooses to steer, because I am a patriot and I believe that the information that he receives from his cabinet of advisors is the best in the world for the current situation. However, both due to the ineffectiveness of the ability to be an executive (his job title) and due to the mass hysteria and delusions that my own generation have been mired with. I am forced to side with the older generation, during my time spent with them I have grown accustomed to the way of life that preaches financial responsibility rooted in factual evidence and a series of checks balances and assessment to ensure that the correct path has been chosen. I am going to be a good sport and really wish your candidate the best in the debates. Good luck trying to convince a nation that is now realizing that theoretical and altruistic concepts like HOPE and CHANGE can be turned into black and white policy; and please, please use a better metaphor for your point than a Batman reference. The producer of your cinematic inspiration refrains from all the mind-numbing technology that your culture (see Geeds and Hipsters) tote upon your shoulders so proudly. Believing in a simplistic, creative, and useful life, that he can use his talents to the benefit of the rest of us.

      12 years ago at 6:03 am
    10. BrobHuggins

      The sad/scary thing is that flaming libs actually believe this shit will work.

      12 years ago at 6:15 am
    11. Bronan the Barbarian

      For the record, I’m not exactly a chest-thumping, Bible-toting neocon. I’m actually somewhere in the middle, and consider myself an actual independent. That said, Brah, your idea just failed in France. In. France. The country that basically invented socialism as a sustained governmental system. They voted it down by incredible margins.

      The idea that you confiscate all income over 250,000 a year is retarded, and you’re an idiot for thinking it would benefit anyone. Sure, you could essentially normalize income to about 150k per year, but why run a company if you can’t get the benefits of it? You would encounter the same issues as with communism.

      12 years ago at 10:55 am
    12. LeGronk

      Can someone please translate Frathens_Brohio’s first reply? If your parents were “millionares”, you’d think they’d see the “valures” in teaching you proper grammar. Also, you do not work 16 hour days; unless you count the 12 hours that your alt rock band practices as work.

      12 years ago at 11:56 am
  3. FarmFratter

    What prize do we get if we’re able to capture a photo of Mitt with an actual pair of tits? Think on it and get back to me.

    12 years ago at 4:33 pm
    3. RickyRubibro

      Automatic Internship with TFM or the opportunity to write for TFM for a month

      12 years ago at 1:30 pm
    2. Joran van der Frat

      Romney is the only chance we have to save America from four more years of Obama. He may not be a true conservative, but he is without question a better choice for president than the turd sitting in the White House currently. Also, this is TFM and Romney’s overall lifestyle is pretty goddamned fratty.

      12 years ago at 6:22 pm
    4. FreetoRAPE_

      I DON’T LIKE ROMNEY BECAUSE HE DOESN’T DRINK. Really? Then don’t vote for him, ass

      12 years ago at 7:03 pm
    5. Tallapoosa Snu

      Yeah, everybody wants a drunk in the most powerful position in the entire world. I’m sure I’d want my president to be a few scotches deep when he’s making political decisions that have a bearing on my entire future. Drinking in college is fun. But if you try to drink like you did in college when you have a real job, you aren’t goin much of anywhere, champ.

      12 years ago at 9:00 pm
    6. Frat Seizure_1890

      I was commenting on what he called a “fratty” lifestyle you ass hats, not stating that I want that in a president. Show me someone that currently leads what you consider a “fratty” lifestyle who doesn’t drink

      12 years ago at 10:35 pm
    8. FratopianWetDream

      The only thing “frat” about his lifestyle is the fact that he’s rich. Anyone, or at least most people, could easily parallel that lifestyle with the money. The reason I don’t like him is because he is a crook. Buying out factories, bankrupting them, firing all employees, and selling the assets. Real “ethical” if you ask me. If that is how he makes his money, his priorities are fucked and so is he. Why the fuck would anyone want somebody as president who has taken jobs from hundreds, maybe thousands, of people? That makes no sense to me. So basically, his mindset is, “fuck all those people who lost their jobs. I’m rich!”

      12 years ago at 5:46 am
    12. Yo Soy Fiesta

      ^^^^Actually, Mitt Romney has created thousands of jobs in the private sector by growing Bain Capital. He also created thousands of government jobs as the governor of Massachusetts. I’m guessing your belief stems from listening to the left-wing hippie media and Obama. Romney definitely did some shady stuff to grow his company, however that is business and the money he got from the companies he bankrupted he used to expand other companies, which in the end resulted in a net creation of jobs. We need Romney because he knows how to succeed in the real world and has legitimately earned all of his money, where as if Obama could not work government jobs and collect handouts, he would probably be unemployed and homeless. Go get ’em R-Money.

      12 years ago at 11:16 am
  6. Joran van der Frat

    A perfect example of the difference between the two parties. Republicans like to spread their wealth around. Democrats like to spread your wealth around. Romney/TBD 2012

    12 years ago at 5:58 pm
    1. TrickleDown

      TBD is a washington sellout and a hypocrite, I’m sure as fuck not voting for him.

      12 years ago at 7:03 pm
  10. Tommy Brohamaa

    I like how the members of TFM support “R Money” just because he is rich and Republican, yet he has so many fucked up policies, and you guys want him just because he is fratty, I am not saying that Obama is the best choice but have a better reason why you want him elected than that. It just makes you sound like a try hard.

    12 years ago at 9:48 am
    2. SkoalSeedsFuckGeeds

      Shut the fuck up Gronk. Romney is no more conservative than Obama is white. He implemented the same fucking socialized healthcare system in Massachusetts that Obama did on the national level. I hate Obama. I hate him so much I’ll probably end up voting for Romney cause he’s the only chance to not have Obama in office again. But blindly idolizing the Republican candidate is juvenile and idiotic.

      12 years ago at 1:08 pm
  11. dye_fratting

    I mean, you know that face a girlfriend gives you after yougive her something badass? combine that with the cute face she makes post facial and BOOM

    12 years ago at 10:47 am