A Handsome Guy’s Guide To Hooking Up
A column on Total Frat Move’s partner site, Post Grad Problems, gave hookup tips for husky guys. The column makes a decent point–the world is a shallow place, and it’s not changing anytime soon. However, not all of us are lucky enough to experience the joys of all-natural insulation. Even good looking guys need guidance in the world of hooking up.
As a man, your good looks are the ultimate icebreaker, and I’m a firm believer in using your strengths to produce the end result you desire–that’s what made America great. Being good looking is merely a part of the equation if you are looking to hook up, though. The closer you are to the top, the tougher the competition, and you need to be able to set yourself apart and use your looks to your advantage to attract and hook up with the smokeshows I know you are capable of pulling, you strong-jawed, dimpled son of a bitch.
Be Unaccessible, But Not Overly So
When you are a handsome guy, women will be surprisingly aggressive. They’ll approach you in bars, openly flirt with you, and awkwardly try to start conversations with you. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, right? Wrong. Being good looking is a great ice breaker, but it’s not always a deal sealer. The key is to make her think she has a shot without throwing yourself at her. Eagerness will get you shredded. For example, sit with your friends at the bar and leave open seats next to you or sit at a booth and leave room for any interested parties, but don’t actively seek out women. Don’t go “prowling” like a lot of guys do–women don’t find watching you get shut down by another girl attractive, even if it’s for a legitimate reason, like a girl has a boyfriend. You’re good looking, and women will let you know when they want you to approach.
Be Bold
As a handsome guy, you can get away with saying almost anything you want to a woman. Well, at least most of the time. It’s one of the perks. Be bold, speak your mind, be direct. Anything said with an attractive smile becomes strangely charming, and women love confidence–even if they have to slap you in the face a few times along the way.
Have Standards
Appearance is everything. That’s why you are taking advantage of your looks. Women are shallow, too, as much as they try to deny it. Go for the sevens, eights, nines, and tens. People expect good looking people to sleep with good looking people, and women find guys more attractive when other attractive women want him. It’s science. Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve lowered your standards before. You have to slay a few dragons before you find your princess, just keep in mind that standards compliment your looks in a major way.
Dress Well
Don’t dress like a slob. It’s like letting weeds sprout up everywhere and not mowing the lawn in front of a mansion. You don’t have to overdo it and wear a $1,000 outfit every day, but dress in a way that compliments your appearance. Just as a good landscaper can improve the look of a home, a good wardrobe can enhance your own appeal.
Be Above Average In Bed
Women are not much different than men in regards to why they hook up, and as you know, a lot of it has to do with ego. She wants to show you off to her friends when they ask if she hooked up with you last night. Your looks give you a big advantage, but if you really want women throwing themselves at you, having a decent batting average will get you to the top of the lineup as word spreads.
10 years ago at 1:46 pm
Surprisingly helpful, if I were handsome.
10 years ago at 1:49 pmDressing well, having standards, and being above average in bed will only help you if you’re good looking?
10 years ago at 1:50 pmThe last point makes it sound like going down on her is a necessity…
10 years ago at 1:52 pmYou’re making quite a name for yourself with these first two articles 5OClockShadow. Keep it up
10 years ago at 1:54 pmMustard
10 years ago at 1:54 pmI would only improve this column one way. Have a dime write it.
10 years ago at 1:58 pmHold on just a second. Women are terrible at giving advice about women.
10 years ago at 2:04 pmI get where you’re coming from, but let’s face it. Do you want one of your buddies giving you wardrobe advice…or Kate Upton? I trust my guys in my unit with my life…not my clothes selection.
Semper Fi, Jarhead. Glad you’re here!!
10 years ago at 2:15 pmThat’s a straw man argument, soldier. Kate Upton could help me get laid from being seen with her, but I’d rather ask Verlander how he got her than how she’d get herself, even if I hate the Tigers.
Also Kate doesn’t have to choose clothing based on whether or not said clothing would squeeze her nuts off.
10 years ago at 2:44 pmThis whole thread, TFM. Carry on warriors.
10 years ago at 4:17 pmTrue, but your original comment said “women”. Not “TSM’s”. I wouldn’t want Hot Piece telling me how to dress.
10 years ago at 6:32 pmNot being remotely handsome and still going for the 8-10’s. TFM
10 years ago at 2:30 pmSlaying dragons and princesses because dragons need love too. RFM
10 years ago at 2:37 pmNo
10 years ago at 8:32 pm