A Handsome Guy’s Guide To Hooking Up

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A column on Total Frat Move’s partner site, Post Grad Problems, gave hookup tips for husky guys. The column makes a decent point–the world is a shallow place, and it’s not changing anytime soon. However, not all of us are lucky enough to experience the joys of all-natural insulation. Even good looking guys need guidance in the world of hooking up.

As a man, your good looks are the ultimate icebreaker, and I’m a firm believer in using your strengths to produce the end result you desire–that’s what made America great. Being good looking is merely a part of the equation if you are looking to hook up, though. The closer you are to the top, the tougher the competition, and you need to be able to set yourself apart and use your looks to your advantage to attract and hook up with the smokeshows I know you are capable of pulling, you strong-jawed, dimpled son of a bitch.

Be Unaccessible, But Not Overly So

When you are a handsome guy, women will be surprisingly aggressive. They’ll approach you in bars, openly flirt with you, and awkwardly try to start conversations with you. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, right? Wrong. Being good looking is a great ice breaker, but it’s not always a deal sealer. The key is to make her think she has a shot without throwing yourself at her. Eagerness will get you shredded. For example, sit with your friends at the bar and leave open seats next to you or sit at a booth and leave room for any interested parties, but don’t actively seek out women. Don’t go “prowling” like a lot of guys do–women don’t find watching you get shut down by another girl attractive, even if it’s for a legitimate reason, like a girl has a boyfriend. You’re good looking, and women will let you know when they want you to approach.

Be Bold

As a handsome guy, you can get away with saying almost anything you want to a woman. Well, at least most of the time. It’s one of the perks. Be bold, speak your mind, be direct. Anything said with an attractive smile becomes strangely charming, and women love confidence–even if they have to slap you in the face a few times along the way.

Have Standards

Appearance is everything. That’s why you are taking advantage of your looks. Women are shallow, too, as much as they try to deny it. Go for the sevens, eights, nines, and tens. People expect good looking people to sleep with good looking people, and women find guys more attractive when other attractive women want him. It’s science. Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve lowered your standards before. You have to slay a few dragons before you find your princess, just keep in mind that standards compliment your looks in a major way.

Dress Well

Don’t dress like a slob. It’s like letting weeds sprout up everywhere and not mowing the lawn in front of a mansion. You don’t have to overdo it and wear a $1,000 outfit every day, but dress in a way that compliments your appearance. Just as a good landscaper can improve the look of a home, a good wardrobe can enhance your own appeal.

Be Above Average In Bed

Women are not much different than men in regards to why they hook up, and as you know, a lot of it has to do with ego. She wants to show you off to her friends when they ask if she hooked up with you last night. Your looks give you a big advantage, but if you really want women throwing themselves at you, having a decent batting average will get you to the top of the lineup as word spreads.

  1. fratboywithboatshoes

    Here’s a guide

    Do the exact opposite thing a frat-boy would do.

    Here’s a guide:

    1. Don’t be a douchey frat boy.
    2. Don’t show off all the money mommy and daddy gave you.
    3. No one cares about your boat shoes and salmon shorts.
    4. Don’t brag about how ‘wasted’ you got last nite.
    5. Don’t try to rape your date.

    Good luck frat boys

    10 years ago at 3:42 pm
    1. Cabbieshack

      I’m starting to think you’re not a frat boy. Also beginning to question whether you wear boat shoes.

      10 years ago at 4:12 pm
      1. fratboywithboatshoes

        LOL

        Did your daddy tell you to type that? How much of Limbaugh’s merchandise have you losers bought?

        So sad.

        10 years ago at 10:40 am
      2. Cabbieshack

        In hindsight it would’ve been much more productive to have your two adoptive dads write it

        10 years ago at 11:43 am
  2. Mr.Munch

    If you are going to talk about not enjoying eating pussy and having standards write articles for another site

    10 years ago at 3:46 pm
    1. 5OClockShadow

      With a name like “Mr. Munch” I can see how my last column might have gotten you a little butthurt.

      10 years ago at 4:25 pm
  3. GoldenBear17

    If you’re handsome and the girl has had a couple drinks it’s pretty much a deal sealer. This article is terrible.

    10 years ago at 6:40 pm
  4. TitsFratNGrits

    “Oh, hey there, those breasts look very nice on you today”…as you grab her by the hand and lead her back to the house to bang.

    10 years ago at 9:50 pm