A Heart-To-Heart Between Fraternity Brothers

Socrates Johnson7 years ago

It was one of the nights that you’d bring up years from now. Full of those “remember when” moments. Tommy lived for nights like these. Straining his ears just right, he could hear the counting off of a keg stand. Right before the count reached 75, there was a loud thud followed by uproarious cheers. He smiled. Butchie was the only person he’d ever known to go as high as 75. That had to be a world record or something.

He didn’t have to strain at all to hear the booming voice of Cody, flawlessly rapping Busta Rhymes’ verse from “Look At Me Now” (probably to a few of those new Chi O initiates that he had been chatting up all night). The move had gotten him laid one time back at the Halloween party of ’14, and Cody was convinced he was due for a time number two.

Rocking back and forth in that rocking chair Lazy Eye Pledge stole from the FIJI house, Tommy lit up another Camel Blue. He wondered what had ever happened to Lazy Eye. They had balled him two years ago — after he upper-deckered the Presidential Suite toilet three weeks into his pledge semester — and hadn’t seen or heard from him since. Word on the street is that he was in jail for something or other.

Here, on the porch, were the remnants of that afternoon’s darty, chaotically yet somehow artistically arranged like a Picasso. Four years of this, Tommy thought. Only a few months left. Better make them count.

Tommy’s moment of contemplation was cut short when the door swung open and Nick stumbled onto the porch, completely soaked. Close behind was that girl he had brought to this past year’s Christmas formal. What was her name? Brandy? Mandy? She chucked her now empty solo cup at Nick and stormed off with nothing more than a middle-finger-behind-the-back’s farewell.

“What’d you do?” Tommy asked.

“I guess we just weren’t in that stage in our relationship yet,” Nick slurred back.

“And what stage would that be?”

“The threesome stage.”

They both laughed.

Almost immediately after Tommy had tossed him the Camels and lighter, Nick had a heater lit and nearly halfway smoked.

“Dude, can you believe we graduate soon?” Nick exhaled.

“Yeah, that’s wild, man.”

“I’m actually kind of fucking worried about it.”

That’s weird, Tommy thought. Nick never seemed to be worried about anything.

“About what? I thought you were pumped for that internship on The Hill.”

“I don’t know.”

Nick paused to collect his thoughts and took a long drag of his cig, finishing it. He lit up another.

“I don’t think I even like politics, to be honest. I think I’m just going along with this whole thing because my dad really wants it for me.”

That’s weird, Tommy thought. Nick usually never talks like this about his dad.

“You get along with your dad though, right? You two always seem to have a good time when he comes up for homecoming and parents’ weekend.”

“I mean, we enjoy drinking together and shit like that. But we never talk about, I don’t know, serious shit.”

“Like what?”

“Like what I actually want to do.”

“Which is what?”

Nick seemed taken aback that Tommy would even ask such a question.

“You’ll laugh.”

“Don’t be a chode and just tell me.”

“You have to fucking promise not to tell any of the guys, though.”

“I swear, dude.”

Nick lit up another cig, pulled out a tin of Grizzly Wintergreen Long Cut, and packed the fattest lip that Tommy had ever seen.

“I think I want to get into improv comedy.”

Tommy tried his best not to appear taken aback.

“You talking like SNL?”

“Yeah, something like that. There’s this class that I’ve been going to every Tuesday night for the past couple of weeks. I think I’m actually pretty good at it.”

Tommy had wondered why Nick had been a no-show at the last few Poker Tuesdays. There was a long pause.

“Plus, there’s this absolute smoke at the classes who I’ve been chatting up. I think I might bring her to the house next week. Maybe me, her, you, and Julia could do a double date sometime.”

Nick laughed but Tommy was completely stone-faced. The topic of Julia was one he had been trying to avoid for a long time now, but now was probably as good a time as ever to get it off his chest.

“Yeah, about Julia… I don’t know if that’s gonna work out for much longer.”

“Dude, seriously? Why the fuck not?”

“Because I’ve been cheating on her.”

Nick spit out his cigarette and half of his dip spit. Before he even has a chance to respond, Sam Thompson — who had just been initiated only a couple months prior — stumbled outside, carrying a fifth of Fireball in one hand and an empty keg in the other.

And he was covered in blood.

To be continued….

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