A Letter To The Republican Party

Dear GOP,

I love you, but you’ve got to get your shit together. Obama’s re-election should have served as a swift kick to the dick. You lost to Barry twice, because you failed to field a legitimate candidate that is alluring to both sides. You need to ditch the useless Randroids and find candidates with real substance. Obama came out of nowhere preaching “change” and people ate it up. It was a glitch in the matrix, and the Democrats capitalized on it…twice. If you want to know why you keep getting your ass kicked, all you have to do is look at Obama’s competition.

The first time around, you picked John McCain and Sarah Palin. John McCain is a veteran who spent time in a POW camp. He wasn’t very subtle about his warlike tendencies and his desire to haze the world with the American military. Alzheimer’s and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome don’t really go well together if you’re driving a car, let alone a nation.

I have nothing against McCain as a man, he’s an American hero and a total badass, but he was way too old. There was a real chance that he could have died in office. That wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing if the VP replacing him didn’t hold the Guinness World record for Stupidest Person on Earth. Secret Service would have had their hands full teaching Palin that “the square peg doesn’t fit in the round hole” and “Russia is pretty much my backyard” is not a good foreign policy.

To this day, I still cannot understand why Sarah Palin resonated with people. Maybe it’s because she’s really dumb and hot. Using those criteria to select a slam is acceptable, but not for the potential ruler of the free world.

Nominating Sarah Palin as the VP candidate single handedly guaranteed your failure in 2008. It’s almost like you wanted to lose…like it was deliberate. If you went to Hades and thawed out Karl Rove from his thousand-year slumber, he’d be fucking pissed. Sarah Palin was a very carefully crafted joke and the American people missed the punch line.

The second time around you picked Mitt Romney as a candidate, only because he bought the primaries with his billions. What a terrible decision. You found the richest corporate elitist that you could dig up and hoped that somehow average voters would relate to him. Sure, wealthy people will vote for Mitt, but an overwhelming majority of America is not wealthy. In Romney’s eyes if you’re not in the 1%, you’re poor and not worth his time. Nominating Mitt Romney was like putting a great white shark at the end of a slip n’ slide and saying “Have fun, kids!” Way to downplay class warfare, geniuses.

The problem is that you have forsaken truly conservative ideology. Romney ran on the platform of immediately repealing Obamacare, even though Romneycare is just as flamingly liberal. You’re a fake party, just like the Democrats that you’ve opposed for so long. They’ve infected you. You’re beginning to emulate them. You are both just watered down middle ground parties now. You’re both harbingers of big government and the rampant destruction of our civil liberties. Your subterfuge is failing. People are starting to see you for what you are.

There is a libertarian rift growing within the Republican Party. If you, as a party, cannot accommodate this, you run the risk of alienating conservative voters who are tired of waiting for you to grow up and emerge from the dark ages.

The problem is that people focus on superficial social issues like abortion, drugs, God, gays, and healthcare without realizing that both parties promote the same form of big government expansion. These issues shouldn’t even be the federal government’s concern. If you want to beat the democrats you have to revive true conservatism. You’ve got to stop the trend towards more government and socialism.

The only thing the government should be concerned with is providing for the common defense and honoring contracts between individuals. ALL OTHER POLICIES AND SERVICES should be handled by the states. Local state governments are more efficient at handling these kinds of issues anyways. That’s what real conservatism is, remember?

Upholding the constitution, defending civil liberties, and advocating states rights is a strategy that appeals to most intelligent people, regardless of party affiliation. If you let a third party that supports these ideals grow stronger, you’re going to keep losing votes until you wake up and embrace reality.

Many democrats are simply social policy democrats. They vote that way because they think a woman’s right to choose, or gay marriage, is more important than conservative economics. Many would vote republican, if only there was a candidate who embraced conservative economic policies while allowing a more open stance on social liberties.

That’s why Ron Paul gained so much popularity. He seemed to be saying what true conservatives secretly believe in their hearts. Keep the federal government as small as possible and leave all the other liberal social bullshit to the states. Both parties have lost sight of America’s original constitutional intention. It’s not time for more “change,” it’s time to get back to our roots.

  1. Swampass

    Sounds like you’re looking to reinstate the Confederacy. Everyone always said The South will rise again and I’m onboard with you.

    12 years ago at 5:12 pm
    1. better_than_you

      I know me, my family, and everyone in my county would be onbored. Bring back Dixie before its to late!

      12 years ago at 7:14 pm
  2. Bone Padre

    While I agree in principle, and I am probably more of a libertarian than anything, the ideology of Ron Paul would hold on traction if he were elected (*today*).

    Let’s say he gets elected. The programs and vision he has would take years, nay, DECADES, to enact. He wants sweeping reforms that would bring the US economy crashing down unless they were dealt with in increments. Meanwhile, as he’s trying to usher in this libertarian utopia, he’s battling 50% of the country that is very fond of their social security, a bureaucracy that’s embedded in our society, and lobbyists whose grip on the economy isn’t going anywhere. No legislation would ever be passed because of its relatively extreme nature, and anything that DOES get passed will have minimal effect during his presidency.

    tl;dr- Ron Paul: great on paper, unrealistic in 2012.

    12 years ago at 5:33 pm
    1. fratanomics

      His policies would by and large have been moderated by the fact that they needed to pass. If you bring Ron Paul closer to the middle on his political views, you get something a lot of senators and congressmen would get behind to vote for.

      12 years ago at 5:41 pm
    2. srattysooie

      Ron Paul helped alongside Reagan and has been fighting since for the Constitution and small government ever since. These ideas aren’t new. However, he retired from his position in Congress and sadly, his legacy will be forgotten if the Republican Party continues the way it has been running.

      12 years ago at 5:46 pm
    3. Bone Padre

      ^ That literally contributed nothing.

      ^^ We’ve already seen that Paul himself wouldn’t bring his views towards the middle. It’s both his biggest strength (integrity) and weakness (political retardedness). Because he is now out of the picture, yeah I agree, the next guy has an opportunity to do what you alluded to. Ryan, Huntsman, and Christie come to mind: less social rhetoric with a sizable, yet manageable, decrease in the size of govt.

      12 years ago at 5:56 pm
    4. Douglas MacArthur

      I can’t say I know too much about him, but isn’t Rand Paul a more digestible version of his father that both libertarians and conservatives could get behind? If everyone wants a more moderate Ron Paul then could he be the guy?

      12 years ago at 6:25 pm
    5. GOP 2016

      ^^^Ron Paul denounced Reagan during the 80’s and regretted voting for him. Ron also published racist remarks in his newsletters during that time. We know what the liberal media says about white people, just imagine what they would say about a racist white person running for president.
      ^Rand Paul has a lot of potential, but I doubt he’ll get enough support within his party to win a nomination. Seems like a career senator to me

      12 years ago at 1:59 pm
    6. TheNakedMan

      ^ I’m dead sure everyone knows that the newsletter with “Ron Paul’s racist remarks” was liberal propaganda. No truly intelligent person will believe he said that.

      12 years ago at 2:18 pm
      1. ScottCHB

        You really think we lost the vote from the “truly intelligent person” demographic? No, is the answer.

        12 years ago at 3:22 pm
  3. sperryville

    …except that that has nothing to do with why the republicans lost. Romney overwhelmingly won the white vote, problem is that he also overwhelmingly lost the black and Latino votes. I’m sorry but I don’t think that simply appealing to states rights will lead to more black and Latino votes. Unfortunately I don’t think you can do much about the black voters (and its a damn shame, really) but if they did a better job of highlighting the dem’s extremism on social positions like abortion (Latinos are mostly catholic and I don’t think it’s a secret that the bishops and priests hate the Democratic Party now) and liberalize their immigration policy you will see a winning ticket in 2016.

    12 years ago at 5:40 pm
    1. Okefenokee Joe

      Well if we didn’t have either one of those groups the country wouldn’t be in the mess it is now.

      12 years ago at 6:25 pm
  4. srattysooie

    I think I love you. I sure as hell love Ron Paul. Sad to see him retire, he fought so hard for over 30 years for our country to see change and went by so unnoticed.

    12 years ago at 5:43 pm