A Tribute to Dip
Smoke it. Dip it. Chew it. Hell, snort it. Versatility is one of the more admirable attributes of tobacco. However you choose to partake, the shit is just good. Tobacco is truly one of the finer things in life. She’s always there for you, too. There isn’t a time when some form of this wonderful crop isn’t appropriate. Pretty trashed? Time for a cig. Need a shower? Throw in a pinch. Need a little pick me up? Throw up some snuss in one of them nostrils.
Leading the way of smokeless tobacco is dip, the uncontested favorite among fraternity men. Every time that shit hits my gums, it screams, “America!” And it should for you, too. It’s also useful in announcing one’s presence. Throwing a lip in says you’re someone to be taken seriously. However, not just any man with a protruding lip demands respect. It is a privilege, not a right, to be counted amongst the great tobacco users. So what are you, an American, or a commie? Well, it depends which dip you’re working with.
Kodiak Grape
So, you like Grape? I’m sure you also like boxed wine and sitting by the fireplace with a nice romance novel. Grape is a good selection if you’re 12 years old or sexually confused. One of my old buddies from high school dipped KG. He’s now an aspiring musical actor and bags groceries at Kroger.
Skoal Citrus, Peach, or Green Apple
I also used to know someone who dipped this stuff. Her name is Becky. Let’s set the scene. You have the options of a refreshing beer, a stiff whiskey drink, or a Skinny Girl margarita. Picking the Skinny Girl margarita is exactly what you’re doing when you pick citrus, peach, or green apple dip. It’s one step away from a full-blown sex change. Dipping is relatable to having a pair of balls, gentlemen. Make the right choice next time.
Skoal Natural and Copenhagen Long Cut
Skoal Natural and Cope Long Cut are the standard. Mild with a kick, they draw respect. In the sense that a quality, yet modestly priced, Jim Beam draws respect from whiskey connoisseurs, Copenhagen Long Cut and Skoal Natural will give you some revere from even the biggest badass, can-a-day cowboys out there.
Copenhagen Natural – Fine Cut (Cardboard Can)
Leave the women and children at home. We’re not fucking around anymore. Copenhagen Natural is gritty, tough, and full of enjoyment. It screams, “Freedom” every time the can is packed or opened. Like this beautiful country, Cope Natural is an embodiment of toughness, success, and liberty.
Copenhagen Southern Blend
As recently posted on TFM, Copenhagen Southern Blend is a thing of beauty, but only if found. It’s like the goddamn Sasquatch. The only known sighting of it, to my knowledge, has been Nacogdoches, Texas. Sending a pledge 4 hours away to pick it up was worth every one of his minutes, and my lip’s satisfaction.
From TFM user HornsUp9:
“Southern Blend is America at its finest. This is the defining point of this great country. This puts the history of America, in particular, the pride of the South, inside one perfect southern sunset colored can. It’s robust, yet subtle. It embodies the cockiness of southern fraternity living with the simplicity of sweet southern life. This is America, and this is the South.”
Dip to your life is like the background music to a movie. A great dip can make everything successful and awesome (Rocky), but a shitty dip can get you made fun of and also make you lose respect (anything by James Cameron). Your dip is your choice, nancy boy. What’s it going to be?
Where the fuck is Red Seal? That is the great American classic. Nothing gives me a hard-on like Red Seal natural long cut.
13 years ago at 11:53 amThank you
13 years ago at 1:45 pmWhen I first started snoose grinding, my dad told me he was hankering for a dip but didn’t want to go into town. I told him I had some and brought out some Skoal Apple. He threw it aside and angrily said “that shit is for old ladies and cripples!”. Then I pulled out my un-opened can of Copenhagen long cut and he kept it. Also what the fuck is “Copenhagen Natural- Fine Cut”? He must be referring to Copenhagen Snuff. I prefer Copenhagen long cut, grizzly wintergreen, and kodiak wintergreen if I need a real kick.
13 years ago at 10:27 pmcope wintergreen or skoal natural, cant beat that shit
13 years ago at 11:26 pmCope wintergreen has a weird texture like how a chunk of fresh horse turd would feel (I imagine). Grizzly wintergreen & Copenhagen long cut.
13 years ago at 3:31 amA cigarette after sex is nice, but Cope after killing a terrorist brings me more satisfaction
13 years ago at 7:30 amStoker’s tubs. comes in 10 can containers. discussion ends here.
12 years ago at 10:39 amDip is my tobacco product of choice and I never get tied down to one flavor or brand. Although you can normally see me with a tin of Griz Straight in my pocket, I’m not committed. So recenetly I was at a t-store and I said fuck it and bought some Grizzly Natural Fine Cut. Now this shit is pretty rough smelling, but it’s fucking delicious. Try it boys.
12 years ago at 6:05 pmJust found Southern Blend for the first time here in Tuscaloosa. Roll Damn Tide.
12 years ago at 8:00 pmFound southern blend at a marathon station near Lake Cumberland, bringing a sleeve back to Athens.
12 years ago at 11:43 amSouthern Blend is like a sweetened straight, to me at least. It is enjoyable, but whether it was just the cans that I got, or how they all are, it dried the shit out of my mouth. I’m an avid Copenhagen Straight dipper, but if I ever feel like changing it up, I’ll dip some Southern Blend.
12 years ago at 1:00 am