A Woman Explains The Difference Between Cocky Asshole And Entitled Douche, Says It’s Keeping You From Getting Laid
11 years ago

A Woman Explains The Difference Between Cocky Asshole And Entitled Douche, Says It's Keeping You From Getting Laid

You probably think you know where this is going. You’re wrong. This isn’t a declaration of how much our generation sucks or a guidebook on how to be nicer to women. This is a real issue that pisses me off and has for some time now.

It’s called “the entitlement factor,” and is, by definition, the most unattractive trait a guy can have. There’s a difference between being the confident asshole girls hate to love and being the try-hard douche who makes us want to cry for humanity. Do not make the mistake of thinking these two attitudes are the same.

A confident asshole has a specific demeanor, opinion, and personality, and he doesn’t change to match the people around him. He sets the tone, he doesn’t adapt to it. He doesn’t need everyone in earshot to know how hard he “skied the slopes last night” or that his dress shoes are worth more than the down payment on a one-story house in the suburbs. He’s able to think for himself and not for the herd. He lives by “my actions speak louder than my sick Vineyard Vines quarter zip,” and he knows that attending an Ivy League institution doesn’t mean girls will line up to suck his dick. He gives off the IDGAF vibe because he actually doesn’t give a fuck, not because he’s trying to fool you into thinking he doesn’t give a fuck.

The try-hard douche, on the other hand, is trying ever so hard to fit the mold created by the genuinely confident asshole. The try-hard douche doesn’t know how to tell a joke without malicious intent, and he can’t so much as order a burrito bowl at Chipotle without using words like “perpetuity” or “behooves.” He’s the type of dick who refers to those who summer in Southampton instead of Easthampton as “peasants,” and he wears shirts that say “Kennebunkport, Maine” even though he’s never been to Kennebunkport, Maine.

Now, boys, I get that you want something to brag about. You need something to fill the void of silence between screaming at the TV during sporting events and singing out loud to Taylor Swift when no one is watching. But it’s time to wake up and smell the vanilla-scented Yankee candle sitting next to your bed. You need to realize that just as guys hate the entitled girl, girls hate the entitled guy. No one wants to be around a little bitch who thinks he’s better than everyone else, especially when he feels the need to make it known. The fact that you have a trust fund doesn’t make you better than someone without one. Claiming to know every bouncer in the city doesn’t make you look popular or cool. Telling people that you “don’t own a piece of clothing valued under $51” doesn’t make you look cool. All of these things make you look like an arrogant prick and a borderline sociopathic homosexual who I will not be having sex with.

  2. RogerSterlingJr

    There are actually entire groups of girls that are attracted to entitlement. They’re called “sororities.”

    11 years ago at 5:26 pm
  3. not enough beer

    Boo fucking who cares. Don’t surround yourself with “entitled douches” if you have such a problem

    11 years ago at 5:38 pm
  6. Fratisaurus

    the chick who wrote this has clearly never been fisted by a guy wearing a Breitling Navitimer watch…but could probably benefit from a good fisting or two, no lube, in the back of some clearly over the top German-made sports car with a bumper sticker that says “I love America”.

    11 years ago at 11:03 pm
  7. Bigtuck57

    So exactly when was it established that it was ok for slams to write on a website about fraternities we allowed them their own site and they have to come over here and spray us with this bs

    11 years ago at 6:11 am
  9. BuckeyeFratter

    If you take out the rant about wealth, the article is about how women are attracted men who are genuinely confident than those who are insecure. No shit. “Entitled” is a buzzword that gets thrown around a lot these days, kind of like “privileged.” A better choice would have been “pretentious.” Someone who constantly talks about how much money they have, how nice their clothes are, etc. is pretentious, not necessarily entitled. Someone who expects to be treated well or get laid simply because they have money is entitled.

    11 years ago at 9:05 am
  10. Slaty_Manziel

    You came into a lions den and pissed on the floor with this one. No guy would dare go over to TSM and admit that we hate Uggs.

    11 years ago at 5:48 pm