According To Study, Drinking Lots Of Coffee Gives You A Strong Ass Dick
This explains so much.
On any given work day, I don’t stand up from my desk from about 9:30 in the morning until 11:00-ish because, during that time, I’m usually wrangling a wild lap hog that snuck up on me from under my desk. Now I know why. It’s all the damn coffee I drink out of my penguin/snowman mug (pictured above). Seriously, is that a penguin or a snowman? Nobody knows. It has the little penguin wings, but that’s a carrot nose, is it not? Mind-blowing. Frustrating.
Anyway, a recent study from the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston has revealed that, for men over 20 years old, drinking multiple cups of coffee makes your dick “stronger.” Just gives you a strong ass dick.
From New Now Next:
A study conducted by the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston shows that men over the age of 20 who drink two or three cups of caffeinated coffee report less instances of erectile dysfunction than men who laid off the bean.
One of the authors of the study, Run Wang, explains that caffeine shares many properties with ED medication like Viagra. The stimulant found in both relaxes the arteries, and allows for more blood flow into the penis, causing an erection.
There you have it, you little weak dick bastards. Drink more coffee and get yourself a strong ass dick..
[via New Now Next]
Dorm
10 years ago at 10:54 pmThe feet at the bottom are leaning me towards penguin.
10 years ago at 10:55 pmSince when does Dorn care about men over 20?
10 years ago at 10:56 pm“I have to make sure I get my Republican coozie and Texas flag key chain in this picture so people think I’m frat!” -Dorn
10 years ago at 11:14 pmEvery object in the picture is on point. Nobody is that perfect.
10 years ago at 8:41 amNo bid. Fuck you
10 years ago at 11:45 amWhat’s an “ass dick”?
10 years ago at 11:25 pm“Laid off the bean.” Classic.
10 years ago at 11:38 pmCome on Dorn, we all know you bought it because it’s a Snowboy mug.
10 years ago at 11:41 pmThat’s a beak, not a carrot nose. It’s a penguin with a hat on. Idiot.
10 years ago at 12:05 amVery clearly a carrot. Idiot.
10 years ago at 9:39 amGoddamnit
10 years ago at 10:13 pmIt’s a beak albeit not a very good one. a carrot would’ve had some lines.
10 years ago at 12:31 amYep, ole Dorno is so bone prone in the morning because he wakes up with a nice pot of coffee then browses through google image search results for “little boys wearing nothing but the Texas flag.”
10 years ago at 1:39 amDorn already knew this, and feeds all his little boys coffee to get em good and ready- not to mention chugging three cups himself of course
10 years ago at 7:38 am