Airline Pilot Busted Smuggling 62 Bags Of Cocaine In His Stomach

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When I think of cocaine smuggling, I think of boats coming into Miami in the dead of night, or drug runners clandestinely carrying it across the Rio Grande. Those things seem to be the running stereotype, but a commercial airline pilot bringing narcotics into the United States really doesn’t seem to fit the bill. I guess, when you think about it, that’s why it’s the perfect scheme. Stanley Hill, a 49-year-old pilot from McKinney, Texas, thought so, too.

Hill, who I can only assume was looking to make a few bucks, was smuggling cocaine from Colombia into the United States. Even though he’s a pilot, he wasn’t flying it in. Instead, he was swallowing bags of cocaine and carrying them with him as he traveled from Colombia as a passenger.

It’s not a bad plan. Security personnel wouldn’t think that someone in a pilot’s uniform is carrying anything illegal. Walking through the terminal, there’s really no way for someone to immediately determine whether he’s flying or just riding along, which is probably why he wore his airline uniform on the flight.

Based on what I can see, Hill probably would have gotten away with it all had it not been for one small problem. See, one of the 62 bags of cocaine Hill was carrying in his stomach popped. He freaked out, probably because he knew the potentially deadly effects of directly consuming a metric fuck ton of cocaine, and called 911.

While he did get medical treatment, he also was arrested, which I can only assume is the norm when you tell a 911 operator that a bag of cocaine just exploded inside your stomach. Hill is being charged with felony possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, which doesn’t exactly come with a slap on the wrist. He’ll definitely lose his pilot’s license, and certainly will face some serious jail time.

[via Fox News]

      1. Broston Tea Party

        Thanks, bud. Still trying to figure out how to post gifs directly without having an html attached.

        10 years ago at 12:06 pm
  1. HailToTheFratctors

    have to love the very specific medical estimate of “a metric fuck ton”

    10 years ago at 12:07 pm
  2. JohnnieWalker_Blue

    we talking 62 duffle bags or 62 gram bags? vague reporting suggest you’ve never even seen the fishscale before

    10 years ago at 10:37 am
    1. Buster Highman

      I think it was safe of Ol’ Blutarsky to assume that nobody was retarded enough to think a man consumed 62 duffel bags of cocaine. Use your intuition, pal.

      10 years ago at 1:04 pm
      1. JohnnieWalker_Blue

        I guess your remedial English class at Appalachian Junction Community College hasn’t educated you in hyperbole yet so ill give your black ass the benefit of the doubt. The point is that the term “bag” means literally nothing

        10 years ago at 11:40 pm
  3. FratNsBrother

    Cocaine’s fuckin tight, but you know whats even tighter? Fucking meth. Now that’s true WHITE man’s drug. Nah mean mayne? Rush Delt

    10 years ago at 9:58 am