Alabama Fan Went A Little Too Hard After National Championship, Arrested While Naked On Campus Porch

El Taco8 years ago

Go big or go home, they say. One fan went big after the Crimson Tide’s National Championship win by stripping off all of his clothes and taking a snooze on the porch of a UA office building and, unfortunately for him, went to jail for it. Come on, act like you’ve been there before, brother.

From The Tuscaloosa News:

Officers found the 19-year-old man on the porch at 5 a.m., hours after thousand of people congregated on the nearby Strip to celebrate Alabama’s 17th National Championship win.
“Upon our arrival, I saw a white male sitting on the porch naked with his clothes scattered in various places,” a UAPD officer wrote in the arrest report. ”(The student) stated that he had been drinking earlier in the night and didn’t know how he ended up there.”
The officer said the man was not a danger to himself or others, but charged him with public lewdness because UA employees had seen him.

Hmm… so they do this inside a classroom and it’s considered art, but when I apply for the job with confidence by stripping off my clothes as I strut in, I get told to leave the Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah, that seems real fair. Thanks for nothing, liberal snowflakes.

We’ve all had these nights where the goal is simply to make it back to the house before getting butt-ass naked and falling asleep on an overweight frat rat’s rack. Where Chad messed up here was he followed the light. Those damn porches are incredibly appealing when you’re full-on hobo drunk. It’s like insects to a light. But you can’t fall for that trap, because what happens when you follow the light too far? Exactly. You get zapped with a trip to the county jail and a $300 bond. Like lambs to a slaughter. Unfortunate.

I, for one, just hope he was able to keep both his Sperrys in the same vicinity. If so, he’ll have a great story to tell his kids..

[via The Tuscaloosa News]