Alabama Football Is The Best Car Dealership In The Country
8 years ago

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The camera pulls back from inflatable tube men erratically blowing in a swift breeze to a hobbit wearing a straw hat and crimson windbreaker.

*Awkward multiple second pause*

“Hi, Nick Saban here for Roll Tide Motors in Tuscaloosa where we’re celebrating 10 years of championship pricing and an elite, unmatched automotive selection. No haggle, no hassle. Drive away for zero dollars down with your Alabama commitment today. But don’t take my word for it, listen to our long list of satisfied customers.”

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I touched on this during our sports podcast Back Door Cover earlier today. Alabama has such blatant disregard for violations that you can’t help but respect it. They’re hiding right in plain sight, screaming “suck it” to the rest of the country, and daring the NCAA to do something about it.

I mean former West Virginia quarterback Pat White straight up said he was offered a Corvette from the Tide. Saban actually owns a dealership. Put two and two together. There’s zero chance the books for that place are on the up and up. Cars go in and out of that lot like an inner city chop shop. But hey, that’s just the modern day recruiting game. Bama figured out how to work the system and you can’t do anything but tip your cap to little Nicky and company.

[via USC.247.Sports]

  3. Ronnie Swanson

    Let’s not make assumptions. I’m sure all their fathers’ bought the cars as rewards for their high GPAs and community service efforts.

    8 years ago at 5:54 pm
    1. That drunk brother

      What are you talking about? The men pictured above are all young entrepreneurs with successful businesses.

      8 years ago at 5:59 pm
  6. TedDibiase

    I was really starting to climb onto the pay the players wagon too. You just set back NCAA/student athlete relations six years with one post.

    8 years ago at 6:44 pm
  7. SkinnyWhiteGuy

    Cars are ok, but if you get a free tattoo then the NCAA brings the hammer down

    8 years ago at 7:16 pm
  8. white_mj

    Glad you’re back dan. Need someone to call these guys out. God knows dorn doesn’t have the 12 year old balls to do it.

    8 years ago at 7:33 pm