‘All Eyez On Me’ Is The Most Disappointing Movie Of The Year
2pac was murdered 21 years ago and Biggie Smalls 20, but their legacies as two of the greatest artists of all time still stands.
2pac and Biggie are widely considered the 2 best rappers of all time (not counting John Cena, because we can’t see him). In 2009, Notorious, a Biggie biopic, was released, and it was unfortunately just not a good movie. For years and years we’ve waited for a 2pac biopic, and we finally got it this year with All Eyez on Me. What had potential to be a masterpiece ended up being a giant bucket of giraffe piss. There’s a conspiracy theory that 2pac faked his own death, and if he did, then he probably offed himself after watching All Eyez on Me. Honestly, I just love the image of 2pac sneaking into a movie screening wearing a trench coat and a fake mustache.
The 2pac movie had been going through development hell for an eternity, aimlessly shuffling through different directors, rewrites, and cancelled shoots. They decided to finally film it after the NWA biopic Straight Outta Compton ended up being such a phenomenal film and box office smash. That’s when our, “Wait, this movie is gonna suck ass” senses should have started tingling.
Looking back, its a pretty big red flag that they only decided to film this rejected screenplay because another hip-hop film was such a big hit. It was clearly just a shameless, disrespectful cash grab. But hindsight is 20/20pac (don’t worry, I’m not proud of that joke either).
The movie has a laundry list of issues. The dialogue is lazily written and laughably corny, feeling like a straight-to-TV Lifetime movie. The film portrays Pac as a perfect prophet and a saint as opposed to showing him as a 3-dimensional human being. It’s unintentionally funny in some spots and the pacing is awful. And when he (SPOILER ALERT) gets shot, his death is handled in the preachiest, most pretentious, and cheesiest way possible. On top of that, it’s filled with disrespectful inaccuracies. Basically, it’s like if they let Wally Bryton write a 2pac movie.
The film has some great spots buried between the cheese, but not to the writing staff’s credit.
For example, there’s a moment when 2pac is standing outside a courthouse giving a powerful speech to a huge group of reporters. His monologue is deep, eloquent, and badass, and it’s a perfect portrait of why 2pac was considered such a hero to so many people.
I watched that scene in awe until I realized that it’s only good because it’s just a word-for-word re-creation of an actual interview. The screenwriters didn’t write that part; it’s just some stuff 2pac actually said. So if you wanna see that scene, you can just go watch the actual interview on YouTube.
Another small silver lining in the film was this tiny bit of giddiness I got as a 2pac stan whenever he was shown performing or recording a song. But once again, that’s not to the movies credit; that’s just because I like 2pac’s music. Sad!
If you’re one of the lucky few who still hasn’t seen All Eyez on Me. Save your money and respect his legacy. Just stay home and watch a GOOD hip-hop movie like Straight Outta Compton, 8 Mile, or Rugrats in Paris: The Movie..
Image via YouTube
We can only hope you quickly go the way of Tupac
8 years ago at 5:17 pmFuck TKE
8 years ago at 7:29 am“The dialogue was lazily written” this whole article was lazily written you twat
8 years ago at 5:19 pmA biopic of a rapper isn’t great? No way
8 years ago at 5:19 pmIf they make a sequel it should be called 3pac! Haha I’m gonna put that on Andrew’s Mom’s Ass’s Facebook!
8 years ago at 5:23 pmI don’t get it.
8 years ago at 6:20 pmYou don’t speak shark?
8 years ago at 6:36 pmHOW DOES NO ONE SPEAK SHARK??!!
8 years ago at 7:04 pmA shark’s native language is FINNISH! Ha ha I’m going to put that on Facebook!
8 years ago at 7:21 pmAaaaaaand we’re back
8 years ago at 4:55 pmBend over I’ll show ya
8 years ago at 9:33 pmAaaand we get a shit review of a shit movie by a shit writer. Call it the trifecta of wasted time.
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8 years ago at 12:55 pmThe trifecta would make Mr. Lahey proud
8 years ago at 5:33 pmThe John cena joke crossed the line
8 years ago at 5:47 pmWally, you are the most dissapointing fertilized egg of all time
8 years ago at 6:36 pm2pac killed biggie then biggies hologram killed 2pac. Conspiracy theory solved
8 years ago at 7:01 pmFuck you, Wally.
8 years ago at 7:04 pmRap NF.
8 years ago at 8:15 pm