Alligators’ Way Of Life Is Inherently Incompatible With Western Society

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Wake up, America.

How many more innocent civilians’ lives need to be taken prematurely on our own soil before we finally address the issue? I know it’s not a politically correct stance, but I’m just going to come out and say it — we have an alligator problem in this country.

The liberal media would have you believe this Disney tragedy was the act of a “lone gator” who had a whole set of inner demons forged into him during his own childhood. President Obama has even refused to use the words “radical Crocodilian-ism” or acknowledge the attack on this U.S. citizen at all. But this isn’t about extremism. It never was. Violence in alligators isn’t an anomaly. It’s the norm.

The far left goes out of their way to defend them with things like “Americans are actually the aggressor” because we turn their cousins into a pair of boots or a fried appetizer. But we’re talking about the same barbaric animals that eat their own offspring.

With that type of regard for their kin, how can we expect them to coincide with western society? Their backwards ideology is dated — literally prehistoric — and they’re stuck 37 million years in the past.

Just look at the answers alligators gave to recent surveys on all major current issues. 100 percent of alligators believe gays, transgenders, illegal immigrants, blacks, and Jews should be put to death. Another astounding 100 percent believe the solution to our nation’s social security problem is to devour the elderly.

Let’s call a spade a spade. These are just intolerant, cold-blooded, apex predator assholes whose primal philosophies are inherently incompatible when it comes to peacefully coexisting with humans in our modern world. It’s time for us to stop giving these wretched beasts a free pass and ban them from entering our land.

Image via Youtube

    1. geed_N_proud

      So you can mock an infants death but ban comments on an adults article. sounds right

      9 years ago at 2:45 pm
      1. The User Formerly Known as Frabst

        Dorn got played by below average pussy like a rookie.

        9 years ago at 2:50 pm
  1. SirCarlosIII

    What the fuck is wrong with you, Dan? Are you seriously using the death of a 2 year old kid to write another shitty article?

    9 years ago at 2:31 pm
      1. SirCarlosIII

        The fact that he is using a such a recent tragedy (remainings haven’t even been found) to write such shit is sickening.

        9 years ago at 2:46 pm
      2. Dan Regester

        What happened immediately after the Orlando shooting all over the internet?

        9 years ago at 2:48 pm
      3. SirCarlosIII

        Go ahead and do the same thing that everyone in the internet does. Solid logic.

        9 years ago at 2:50 pm
      4. SirCarlosIII

        That’s pretty clear, but if you haven’t noticed you are also mocking the death of a child while trying to “mock” what the media does.

        9 years ago at 3:00 pm
      5. JohnFratzgereldKennedy

        Isn’t it great that Dan takes time out of his busy schedule of whacking off to reply to comments on his shit articles?

        9 years ago at 6:47 pm
      6. KahunaAlpha

        Technically I think he was referencing two recent tragedies to write a shitty article so we can all be twice as butthurt

        9 years ago at 8:09 pm
      7. Call sign_Goose

        Honestly something about the story seems a tad fishy to me. What parent in their right mind lets their 2 year old go into a lake AT NIGHT in a state INFESTED WITH FUCKING GATORS. The alligator was being a fucking alligator, the parents, though i feel horribly sorry for their loss, are a fucking idiots.

        9 years ago at 2:31 am
    1. Fraddington_bear

      Easy for you to say, your ancestors werent enslaved in zoos. Do you even understand being a gator in today’s society? Sure, it was major step when they were named the mascot of the university of Florida, but we still have a long way to go before we reach equality.

      9 years ago at 2:56 pm
      1. SteveHoltOnDrugs

        Being named the University of Florida mascot was an evolutionary step backwards.

        9 years ago at 3:06 pm
    2. TFM Dude

      I just want to say that I am so relieved to see that Dan Regester is ALIVE as evidenced by his writing this article. I heard from a UCF friend that he was back in Orlando and that he often frequented the Pulse night club where the ISIS murders took place. I just want to say that I am happy to see Dan is alive.

      9 years ago at 2:42 pm
  2. David Brokowitz

    I think only the police should be allowed to have access to gators #gatorcontrol2016

    9 years ago at 2:43 pm
  3. sofratyolotfm

    Dan’s way of life is inherently incompatible with member of society that mantain a healthy body weight.

    9 years ago at 2:50 pm
  4. Bro-hann Sebastian Bach

    I find the gator mascot offensive and want u of f to change their mascot immediately. Looking at you freedom chomp

    9 years ago at 2:59 pm