America’s Favorite Porn Star Is Retiring
It’s a sad day on the internet. Lisa Ann is retiring from the smut game. Throw the old jack rag into the wash, you’re never gonna see her in porno again.
The 42-year-old posted a 10-page letter to Facebook explaining that she’s retiring once the calendar turns to 2015. Of course, the old mainstays on YouPorn and PornHub will still be there, but your spank bank won’t be seeing any new stuff from the queen of MILFs anytime soon.
That’s a real shame. She was a fine wine that only got better with age. Those hammers are timeless and to see a 42-year-old keep her body in that kind of shape is always praiseworthy.
She’s now pursing a career in fantasy football. Yeah, I know. If only we were all so lucky.
So, who will take her place atop the semen-soaked throne of porn? Christy Mack was a good bet, but her ex-boyfriend rearranged her face this summer. Jenna Jameson’s been out of the game for years. Sara Jay is a strong candidate, but my money is on Gianna Michaels. That chick is…enthusiastic about her profession.
Here’s to the next generation of spank minxes..
[via UPROXX]
Image via Instagram
10 years ago at 1:26 pmAnd one for the ass men.
10 years ago at 1:27 pmIt’s almost like you sit on your phone and wait for new articles to get posted.
10 years ago at 1:32 pmOr, I get notified instantly when TFM posts a new article, dumbass.
10 years ago at 1:40 pm“Hold on man, I gotta impress my Internet buddies with some sweet comments.”
10 years ago at 1:48 pmJerry does a damn good job at what he does, champ. You should take notes and learn something
10 years ago at 4:48 pmYou say that like it’s any better.
10 years ago at 4:10 pmThe man is on the fast track to becoming a Fifth Year. Respect the dedication and worry about your own life.
10 years ago at 1:41 pmFuck Ohio State.
10 years ago at 1:56 pmFuck your worthless life
10 years ago at 2:43 pmMy dad makes more money than three generations of your family.
10 years ago at 4:59 pmHe also has sucked more dick than three pi phi pledge classes.
10 years ago at 6:16 pmHaven’t heard that one since 8th grade.
10 years ago at 7:14 pmHe makes all that money and you still only got into community college? Congrats, i’m sure he’s disappointed.
10 years ago at 2:24 pmSwing and a miss, just like 69 jokes.
10 years ago at 1:42 pmthank you sir may I have another
10 years ago at 1:52 pmTruly a sad day for Jill everywhere
10 years ago at 1:28 pmExcalibur is sad.
10 years ago at 1:29 pmhttp://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cleREvd5beU/UYK0XBmtDHI/AAAAAAAALno/I9msPiMii8I/s1600/pouring-out-liquor.gif
10 years ago at 1:29 pmMy FROCK’s heart just broke..
10 years ago at 1:29 pmI highly doubt Gianna Michaels is going to become top dog. She’s not even THAT hot. She’s only got big boobs going for her and those things are gonna get worse with age cause they’re real.
10 years ago at 1:30 pmSwing low, sweet chariots.
10 years ago at 1:31 pmSara Jay and Gianna Michaels don’t do #Buttstuff. They aren’t worthy of succeeding the queen of #Buttstuff.
10 years ago at 1:35 pmGianna has recently gotten into the #Buttstuff
10 years ago at 1:56 pmDoes one scene done in 2012 constitute “recently gotten into the #Buttstuff”? Seems like there should be a quota of at least two scenes.
You want #Buttstuff? Go with Krissy Lynn, and those sweater puppies are top quality.
10 years ago at 3:08 pmGianna is nowhere near hot enough to avoid #Buttstuff. Madison Ivy is the no-brainer choice of being America’s Next Top Pornstar(should be an HBO series) but is not in the milf category yet. What do you think, fellas? Who’s America’s next favorite (white)milf who has a respectable Hot / #Buttstuff ratio?
10 years ago at 4:57 pmNicole Aniston.
10 years ago at 5:06 pmI second that nomination, Nicehole Anustown.
10 years ago at 9:23 pm#FlipsForTits
Our dear boy Dorn’s mother? But on a serious note Madison Ivy had my vote, and Asa Akira for a non-white lady.
10 years ago at 12:38 amMissy Stone.
10 years ago at 2:26 pmHolly Halston
10 years ago at 3:43 pmGianna retired like 2 years ago.
10 years ago at 2:20 am
10 years ago at 1:30 pmAww man this is almost as sad as when Barney got taken off the air.
10 years ago at 1:31 pmNo. Don’t start.
10 years ago at 2:07 pmDon’t start what
10 years ago at 2:32 pmDorn’s the guy that tells horrible jokes while amongst a group of people and looks around frantically at everyone while nervously laughing to himself until someone gives an uncomfortable laugh back…swing and a miss there Dorno
10 years ago at 2:27 pmDidn’t realize this was Roger Dor(M) but my comment stands
10 years ago at 2:29 pmMadison Ivy. Come on now boys let’s not be amateur.
10 years ago at 1:31 pmHot as shit no question…but not my sweet, sweet, Lisa.
10 years ago at 9:51 pmNot going to lie, I’ve yanked the doodle’s dandy to her once or twice.
10 years ago at 6:15 pmShe’s good, but you need someone who has a similar volume of work: Shyla Stylez or Jayden James. The only time people see Madison Ivy any more is in the ad .gifs next to the porn videos they’re actually watching. Although she can be distracting…
10 years ago at 1:13 amI’ll miss her overly large fake boobs with the one nipple sagging and out of place. Lisa Ann was a dime.
10 years ago at 1:33 pm